Somebody and Everything
by mrswentworth1904
Summary: Here is my first go at fan fiction. It is a modern version of my favourite book of all time, Persuasion. Anne Elliot is a shy timid teenager, who has a secret, she can sing. When she meets Fred Wentworth he brings her out of her shell. After meeting up again eight years after their ill fated romance, they get a second chance, with a few bumps along the way. Rated M for language.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1: Anne

I push my ear phones into my ears and skim through the choices on my ipod looking for the play list I want. Dropping my bag on the floor, I follow it, resting my back against the wall of the school hall and sit cross legged. The time on my phone reads 3.30, an hour and a half to wait for Lizzie. As if reading my thoughts, I catch her scowling at me. She hates this. Hates me if I'm totally honest. I can't really blame her, what teenager wants to have to drive their little sisters around? But that was the deal. She got the car, but had to play chauffeur to me and Mary. If I want dropping off at the cinema later to meet Harriet, or picking up from Choir practice on Thursday, every Tuesday I have to sit and watch her rehearse.

Street dance has suddenly took off due to all the hype created by the talent shows on TV. 'The Crew' only has room for the best. Amazing good looks, that rival the stars of Hollywood, but who also, surprisingly, have the talent to dance. I mean seriously, they have everything. Being a gorgeous group of the most popular kids at school, my big sister Lizzie was obviously a shoe in. The main dancer; tall, athletic body, long blonde hair and big blue eyes. All the boys want to go out with her and all the girls want to be her. Shame all her beauty is definitely on the outside. Next to her is Louisa, equally gorgeous with the long blonde hair and blue eyes that seem to shine as if she already has every spotlight in the world centred on her. It doesn't help that they are the only girls in 'The Crew'.

They both share a mutual hatred of me and love nothing more than showing me. They're sat there now, supposedly helping The Captain do the schedule for this terms rehearsals, but they are both looking at me, whispering and grinning. Probably discussing my choice of jeans or the way I have my hair. I shouldn't let it get to me but sometimes I couldn't block it out and today was one of those days. I had had a really crappy day at school and wanted nothing more than to curl up on my bed, pj's on and listen to some cheesy romantic music to make me forget how shitty my life was. I turn the volume up on my ipod a little more and close my eyes. Trying not to let my mind wander to a pair of gorgeous blue eyes, that were currently ten feet away from me, staring at Lizzie and Louisa.

The rest of the Crew is made up of the hunky seniors, that make most girls – and their mums- go weak in the knees. The Captain being one Fred-_swoon_-Wentworth. Thick dark hair that you just want to run your hands through, bottomless blue green eyes, and lush lips you could never get tired of kissing. Add onto that the body of one of the cast of '300' and you have the reason most girls at our school cant even look him in the eye without fainting! He's also, intelligent, nice, polite and even has a wink and smile for the nerdy, awkward shy little sister of his team mate, crouched down at the back constantly humming along to her ipod, in other words, _me_.

Fred's best mates James Benwick, Harry Harville and a few others make up the rest of 'The Crew.' James, being just as tall, but with a leaner body, thick black curly hair you want to scrunch and thick black rimmed designer glasses that just magnify his blue eyes. Harry, the complete opposite, big built like a rugby player with broad shoulders and strong arms. He had the ruggedly handsome thing nailed. Big brown friendly eyes and unruly brown hair that was always getting in his, _usually black_, eyes. He was always getting into scrapes, today he was sporting a limp, from a fall or something.

Suddenly, I am pulled from my day dreams by a shooting pain in my side and a weight on top of my legs. I open my eyes and am horrified to find the colossal form of Harry Harville spread over my crossed legs. God he was heavy. I couldn't move. He was laughing and as I removed my ear buds I could hear others joining in. Particularly the loud squeals of Louisa. Lizzie was red faced and looked at me furious. Shit, what have I done now? Little sister in the way again. Surely she can't think this was my fault? Harry was grunting some sort of an apology trying to pick himself up. Saying something about not even noticing I was there. Yeah that's me, little Anne Elliot invisible to the rest of the world. Suddenly the pain inside my chest was a lot more than the soreness creeping in from the bruises forming on my legs. I jumped up clutching my bag, damn I must have hit my head because it hurts. I shift myself into the corner next to the storage cupboard, hoping here is far away enough to not piss Lizzie off and also so the rest of the crew forget me long enough to stop laughing.

As I sit trying to concentrate on my sister rehearse, and not on Fred's body moving across the floor, Miss Russell, rushes into the hall carrying a large pile of brightly coloured flyers.

Miss Russell: mid fifties, hair just starting to grey but still manages to pull off glamorous, effortlessly. Impeccably made up and attired. She was the epitome of 'Old Hollywood Actress' graceful. So it was startling to see her so harassed as she made her way across the hall, ignoring the faces my sister was throwing her way.

Lizzie couldn't understand Miss Russell favouring me. In her book, that made her 'weird.' But to me she was more than a teacher. Always had her door open ready to talk and offer me the advice I nearly always needed and took! She was especially kind to me when my mum passed. I felt I could go to her with anything.

A leaflet flutters to the floor, I catch it and my heart stops.

"Glee club?"

Miss Russell looks around obviously trying to locate the owner of the little squeak that had just escaped my lips. As I straighten myself up and put my bag on my back storing my ipod away in my pocket. She sees me and smiles.

"Yes Anne, it seems _another_ American craze has caught on," gesturing to 'The Crew.' She was never very fond of this side of the arts. She appreciated acting and music much more. "We're going to be running one." Miss Russell answered, pinning one on the notice board.

"We? Do you mean you will be running it miss?"

A sudden surge of excitement ran through me. Glee club, like the TV show? Lots of social misfits coming together and singing. Sounds like this could definitely be my thing.

Miss Russell was the music teacher, and an amazing singer, she had been putting me through my paces for a couple of years, ever since I was unexpectedly picked for a solo in the school choir and she realised my 'potential'.

"Yes. And in answer to your next question, no, you will not need to audition. You are already officially my first member and team captain, and your first job is to help me with said auditions."

I stand there, mouth open and am reminded of 'Mary Popping's' words, "We are not a codfish" and promptly close it again.

The excitement leaves me nearly as fast as it arrived, and fear takes over. On the TV show, the team captain led the others and did most of the solo's. That was so far from my comfort zone I wasn't sure I could even put it into words. But I needed to try. There was no way I was a leader. I wasn't Lizzie.

"Mm-me? Sing, like on my own, in front of people! I don't think I could do that miss."

I don't think?

There's no way on this earth I could that! It one thing to be hidden away at the back of a twenty strong choir, only having to put up with the occasional spot light on me for the few seconds I sing solo. But this…

As if reading my thoughts miss Russell tips her head to one side and looks at me.

"Anne, I'm a teacher, I'm paid to bring out the best in my pupils and I am telling you, yes you could!"

The next thing I know 'The Crew' are all around us reading the notice. I feel a warm sensation on the small of my back and realise someone has their hand there, not being too familiar with this sensation I shudder and look to see who is being so familiar. I turn slowly and come face to face with the oceanic eyes of Fred Wentworth. He smiles at me. As if on auto pilot, my mouth immediately smiles back.

"Do you mind?" He pants.

He's short of breath from rehearsing and has beads of sweat all over him, and all I can think of is _yum._

"Do I mind?" I ask, not sure if the words have actually left my mouth.

"Do you mind moving over, I can't see the notice?" He smiles again, I blush at my obvious awkwardness, that has arisen from the fact HE has spoken to me. I'm still stood there frozen to the spot, when he says "please?"

Suddenly realising my embarrassment, and the fact we are not alone, I quickly shuffle out of the way and out of the hall as fast as my legs can carry me.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

I close the heavy wooden door of the hall shut and lean my back against it for a second catching my breath. Idiot! Idiot Anne! For God sakes all he did was try and talk to you, friendly conversation and you run. What the hell is wrong with me? The realisation that I've been leaning here talking to myself for too long hits me and I jerk forward stalking down the corridor. I need to go somewhere. To get this straight in my head. I need Harriett. Shit my legs were still hurting from where Harry fell on them.

"Anna! Anna Elliot! Wait up!"

I flinch at someone 'full naming me' and turn half expecting to see my dad stood there, but no. Jogging down the corridor is Fred Wentworth. Once again I am frozen to the spot. I look behind me for some other Anna Elliot that will most probably be coming down the corridor at that moment and who Fred is obviously talking to, not me.

It can't be me. But yet, he is smiling and walking towards ... me.

Holy Shit!

"Anna, look I'm sorry if I invading your space or something, back there, I didn't expect you to run off, I just wanted to get closer to the board."

I stand motionless and silent, I cant think of a single word to say, it's like my seventeen years of being able to communicate verbally, have just packed their bags and left me with just, nothing.

"Anne." I mumble.

Seriously? That's the best I can do?

"Sorry?"

He looks at me curiously. His eyes narrowing and tiny frown lines appearing in between his eyebrows. I square my shoulders, pushing my glasses back up my nose.

"Anne, my name's Anne, even the teachers call me Anne. You...you called me Anna, before ... and its Anne."

How many times can I use the word Anne in one sentence? Idiot! He knows your name. Shit! My one chance at speaking to a real life Adonis and I blow it big time. Harriet will never forgive me. I close my eyes, then open them again, thinking what can I possibly say that could get me out of this horrendous situation I've managed to get myself in. Just when I think he's about to run, he smiles.

"I'm sorry, _Anne_, I thought only your friends got to call you that and as we're not friends yet..." he trails off and all I can think of is _yet?_

I let my eyes quickly roam the corridor up and down. Not a soul was in sight. Just him and me. I can do this. There's no audience, no big sister making fun of me, no one to see me make a complete hash of the situation. I may as well just act normal - if that was at all possible - when the boy of your dreams is staring at you. I swallow hard and smile. He immediately smiles back. Wow.

"So _Anne, _are you going in for this whole glee club thing? I mean, that is, Lizzie's always harping on about you singing none stop at home. I thought this must be right up your street."

Lizzie? More likely she tells everyone I'm dreaming and don't stand a chance - secretly I think she's right.

"Er yeah, my music teacher, that is, miss Russell, she's already kinda got me running the thing, we're holding auditions next week if you want to try out or something?"

Please say yes.

I look down picking at my finger nails, shuffling my feet. Trying to act like I don't care either way, failing miserably. I'm like some sort of daft puppy, hanging on his every word.

"Me! God no, I'm terrible, we're talking nails on chalk boards, drowning cats, that sort of thing." He chuckles, his whole face lightning up.

I stand there not knowing what to say next, as much as I am enjoying this little chat, and _boy _am I enjoying staring at that gorgeous face and those dreamy eyes that haven't left mine for a second, I realise its going no where. I mean what is going on here? What does he want with me? An uncomfortable thought creeps into the back of my mind. This is this a bet. Lizzie and Louisa have put him up to this. I mean he's the hottest, senior, in school and he's talking to me. I look round anxiously for any sign of someone hidden in the shadows probably recording this on their phone to put all over the internet. I need to get away from him. If I could just get my body to agree.

"Why do you want to know about Glee club then?" The words come out in a rush.

"I was just trying to make conversation, I thought you might want to tell me about it." He shrugs, rubbing the back of his head. I've seen him do that before.

"Why do you do that?" I gesture to his hand on his neck. I can't believe I've just asked him that. I no longer have control of my lips. The connection between my brain and what comes out of my mouth seems to have fallen apart. There's nothing stopping the words from tumbling out. He looks embarrassed and immediately pulls back his hand. Crap, now I've really messed up.

"Erm I don't know, it's just a habit I guess, I've never really thought about it, I just do it. Usually when I'm trying to think ... Or ... I'm nervous."

I can sense he's getting uncomfortable. I need to put us back on an even keel.

"I pace."

"What?"

"I pace. When I need to think things through or make sense of a situation. I pace."

He smiles again, its such a completely honest smile, like he's completely relaxed. Even his eyes are sparkling. I find myself instantly mirroring him, smiling back.

"So" elongating the 'o' ever so slightly as I look up and down the corridor for some sort of distraction and/or support. We really were all alone, no camera's.

"So?" Again he looks at me puzzled, like I'm the one who started this whole thing.

Now he's tipping his head to one side, but more out of curiosity than concern. His eyes gazing at mine intently. Like he's trying to see _through_ me, trying to work out what I'm all about. It's starting to un settle me. I can't work out if I like him looking at me that way or not. I feel my skin heating up, rising from my chest to the top of my head. I'm blushing! Out of the corner of my eye I see the hall door open and miss Russell leaving. She glances at me, looking between me and Fred and then shakes her head and carries on down the corridor. _What was that? _

I gain control of my thoughts. Time to steer this conversation around to…anything.

"So, is there anything else? Cos I pretty sure you're supposed to be rehearsing."

His smiles drops and he suddenly looks back at the hall as if he had totally forgotten 'The Crew' exists. That gives me a warm feeling inside I try to ignore.

"Ah crap! Yeah, I'd better be going. I guess I'll see you around. _Anne_" and he went.

I drop my bag once more on the floor and allow my body to slide the wall until I reach the cold floor with a bump. I still had 30 minutes until Lizzie was done. Thirty minutes to torture myself over and over. There was no hiding from it, Fred Wentworth had made his way into my head and there was no getting him out.

I had had my first official conversation with the school sex God. With no witnesses, save miss Russell and her disapproving glance. Damn it! None, no one to back me up that we stood and chatted, actually chatted. I went over each word, each syllable he uttered out of that incredible mouth of his and all I could think was, _crap_!

I mean, what the Fuck Anne? Be like Lizzie for once, that's all you had to do. Be the flirty confident girl he would remember for how she made him feel, not because she repeated her name over and over again! PATHETIC!

And yet… there was something. I don't want to be cliché, but it was there. A connection. I felt, I don't know, safe with him. Like I would follow him anywhere he asked, as long as he was with me. This was crazy I know, I knew him yeah, but only to watch, this was the first time I think he'd said more than 'hi' and 'bye' to me in the past six months since they'd started 'The Crew.' _And yet…_


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

"Settle down, settle down, I SAID SETTLE… _Down._"

Miss Russell was shouting at the crowd of students who had filled the hall ready for the auditions of the official Glee club and become a bit unruly. There are two School halls. The one where 'The Crew' rehearse was really used as a gym, but before the school was extended it was the hall, and has always been know as just that. The one we were in now for the Glee auditions was known by the students as 'the other hall.'

It had been constructed as part of the large expansion of the school a few years ago. It was vast and held about 1200 people. The seating was layered as you would find in a cinema or theatre. We even had a balcony. We had all the gadgets, lighting and sound system. The focus of the room being a massive stage that swept in a curve around the bottom end of the room. There was a pit for the orchestra or band. Dressing rooms off to one side and a wardrobe/prop room on the other. Steps led down front the centre of the stage and at each wing. Everything was dark cherry wood, including the parquet floor. The walls were deep red and adorned with posters from past school productions. It had a magical feeling to it. I loved it in here. I spent hours on that stage pretending I was someone I wasn't.

I sit uncomfortably in the play directors seat a few rows in from the front, it has a desk built in. Normally the drama teacher or miss Russell, would sit here and shout at us to stop fidgeting during school plays and feed lines to those who forgot.

How many times had I sat at the back wishing I was centre stage with the _lucky ones_? As if my day dream had sprung legs and walked into the hall, in came the "lucky ones." 'The Crew.' Led by my super model worthy sister. Shrugging her blonde locks from her immaculate made up face, I frowned. Wriggling further down in my seat trying to go un noticed. Why did she get all that? I'm here with my olive skin, too-dark brown eyes and thick mane of brown hair. Just the word 'brown,' is boring. We try to dress it up, saying brunette is better, but its just, brown!

I had gone home crying to my mum one night when I was little, complaining that at school all the little blonde kids had got to be 'angels and stars' in the school nativity and I was stuck at the back in the choir as usual. My mum had tried to tell me that I was going to be a 'star' one day and I could sing like an 'angel', but really, at seven years old, I just wanted a piece of a tinsel in my hair!

It wasn't that I was ungrateful. I wasn't bad looking, just not on their scale. But my 'thing' was my music. I knew deep down that I did have a 'gift', my voice was above most others. I could hit the top notes with the best of them. I never really tried either, it just came natural. Miss Russell was helping me nurture it and use it to its full potential. Breathing techniques and the like. When I was shut away at home in the comfort of my room, a mirror as my audience, and a hair brush as my microphone. I felt like I could make it one day. But on stage, that was a problem. A BIG problem.

I was proper full on shitting myself, terrified of it.

The wanting to be famous and have everyone look at me, was definitely in my sisters genes, not mine. I was more than happy to blend in the back ground. I endured, and enjoyed choir, when we were all dressed the same, stood as one big group, I could let myself relax. I was camouflaged by the others. Even when I had a solo, I was never centre stage alone, I was just one of the team. But here I was about to have to face my fear, at the request of my favourite teacher. It had to be in front of Lizzie and Louisa, didn't it?

Miss Russell catches my eye, silently telling me its time. I take some long deep breaths. I have my music clutched in my hand. I know this song inside out. I'd practiced it so many times before I even knew there was a Glee club. This was easy.

Nothing to worry about.

I'm fine.

So, why won't my legs work? I'm am trying my best to stand right now and they just wont cooperate. I know miss Russell is eager to get things underway. We had interest from over fifty people wanting to audition. Time was moving on. I had to make my way to the stage and kick things off. Or be a laughing stock. I was team captain after all. How was I supposed to lead others when I couldn't convince my own legs to follow my plan? Without thinking I jumped, literally jumped, to my feet and hurried towards the stage. Feeling eyes burning into the back of my head. Anxiously looking around me seeing people without actually looking at them.

And ... oh yes, as if it couldn't get any worse ... as I climb the stairs to the stage to, as miss Russell puts its, 'show them what we need', in walks Fred, Harry and James. I catch his eye for a second and he smiles, before slipping into a seat beside Louisa. I reluctantly give my piece of music to the teaching assistant roped into playing the piano and step in front of the microphone, constantly repeating my mantra, 'they're not there, there's no one there, only you, only you.'

But its no good. My hands are already shaking, sweating. I'm wiping them on my jeans trying to calm down, blowing out long breaths, my chest heaving. It's as if I can hear them already heckling. _'Look at the state of her!' 'What is she doing up there?' 'Who does she think she is?' 'I bet she sounds terrible!' 'I bet she forgets her words!' _Oh God Oh God OH GOD! What if I _do_ sound terrible? What if I _did _forget the words? I need to get out of here. But now everyone's looking at me, if I turn and run now might it be even worse. I look for my support.

Miss Russell, stood in her normal position at the back of the hall, to make sure she can hear us, talks over the whispers that have begun since I took to the stage, no one really knows I can sing. I'm just one of the choir that occasionally gets a solo. I scan the audience looking for a friendly face. I finally rest upon Harriet Smith. My best friend since nursery, always smiling, always there for me. Medium height and build, with short glossy black hair she wore in a 'Chicago' style bob that suited her no end, and made her green eyes stand out. My dad always referred to her as being 'as average as her name'. My mum would always reprimand him for that, she loved Harriet, and when she passed away, Harriet was there for me when no one else was.

Lizzie being the older sister should really have stepped up and took care of my little sister Mary and I, but no, she was a daddy's girl. After herself, she had to make sure he was okay. Mary and I were a distant third. I don't know why she's here now, I can tell by miss Russell's smile she's under the misapprehension she's here to support me. On cue, she's on her phone, her eyes glued to its screen rather than the stage where her little sister is performing to a hall full of judging peers. Miss Russell has noticed, her face now scowling.

I steady myself knowing that if I don't quieten down my breathing, the audience won't be able to hear my singing over the sound of it thudding.

Maybe that would be a good thing?

I catch miss Russell's eye and I know I have to do this, I need to do this. I can do this.

The first few notes of the piano fill the hall and as every one quietens down, I take a deep breath in, open my mouth and begin to sing.

I've picked an Adele number that I knew I'd rocked at home. Hoping it didn't sound as bad as it did in my head. Through out the song I have my vision on a loop, a circuit I know is safe and will keep my mind occupied on something other than the sheer horror of what I am doing. I look at miss Russell smiling proudly, then to Harriett's cheerful grin, then to Lizzie, although she doesn't look up at me it works just the same, then to the fire exit in the back left corner, and back to miss Russell again. This can work. I already half way through, it's working.

I manage to relax myself long enough to think about the words;

"….I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before. Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all. You never know if you never try…."

My hands slide up and down the microphone stand. I even manage to soften enough to sway slightly from my 'Beefeater' like pose.

I finish.

There's silence.

No booing or heckling, no hurtful remarks, just silence. I scan the audience looking for some sort indication I didn't blow it. I find myself locked with a pair of gorgeous blue green eyes smiling and suddenly, I feel like I nailed it.

Lizzie and Louisa are already getting up to leave.

I stand for a moment not sure what to do next, then Miss Russell, obviously noticing my distress, takes to the stage, giving me a quick wink, takes the microphone from my shaking hands and announces,

"something like that, is what I'm looking for."


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Almost as soon as she closes her mouth, there's the scraping of chairs as about half of the audience leave. I mean, there is literally a mad exodus of the hall. Kids scrambling to get out. I'm starting to think a fire alarm has gone off and I didn't hear it.

I am not sure what to make of this, but miss Russell smirks like she knows exactly what to make of this and walks over to start taking names of the people who remain. Putting them in order and advising them when they will roughly perform and how Glee club will work. She points to me a couple of times and I guess she's explaining I'm team captain. I'm still stood on stage not sure what just happened here. I scan the hall for Harriett, she sits grinning and gives me two thumbs up. What is going on?

Lizzie and Louisa have already left. I see Harry get up to join them and Fred pulls him back down. He sees me looking, I look away but not quick enough, he's seen me staring, damn it. I look at another random group of people trying to pretend I was searching for them in the first place. Only to find them already looking at me whispering to each other anxious looks on their face. I repeat, what is going on?

As if answering my silent question, a young girl walks up to me and tells me,

"that was freaking amazing! I mean OMG! You should be on x factor of something!"

I cringe never knowing how to accept a compliment, but also at the thought of me on TV in front of millions. I'm dying to go back stage and pace up and down until I get this mess straight in my head. I performed. By all accounts it was ok, good even. So why the silence, the mass walk out? Why is Fred Wentworth still here? Why is this girl looking at me like I've just given her the winning lottery numbers?

"Er thanks, but no thanks, that was bloody terrifying."

I take her in. She's about 15, shiny auburn hair bouncing as she talks animatedly. Her friendly blue green eyes look familiar but I cant quite place them…

"I'm Sophia, Sophia Wentworth."

And there you go! My heart stops beating for the briefest of seconds and I scan the audience, and then I see him already walking towards us.

"So Soph, do you really think you're _that _god?" He's looking at me. He's meaning me?

"No way! I thought I could sing, but now I'm bloody terrified" she jokes using my words and winking at me.

"Don't be silly!" I pause trying to think what to say next, "of course you'll be great."

Sophia skips off to await her turn and I find myself pinned to the bottom of the steps I just walked down. He's still here. He hasn't gone to sit back down. He's stood in front of me. I bite my bottom lip thinking what to do next, I so need to pace! I risk another look at him. He has his hand on the back of his head rubbing his neck. He does that a lot. He catches me looking, grins and stops. Harriett comes bustling up to us.

"Holy shit! Anne Elliot! You are like a … a … I don't know what!" She's so exited she's practically jumping. It's infectious and I actually feel myself let a little bit of pride in. I made her feel like that just by singing. Aw, love my Hari.

"Did you fucking see her? Jesus! Did you hear her? My best friend is a fucking star!"

"Harriet!" I hiss at her language, we are supposed to be ladies after all!

Fred laughs, "my thoughts exactly!"

He answers Harriett all the while never taking his eyes off me. I feel very warm. It goes quiet again. Harriet flicks her eyes from Fred to me and back again. Then recognition falls over her face.

"Anyway, I need to get back to class now. So I'll catch you later. Anne ok?"

As she leaves she turns, walking backwards and mimes 'call me.' I try to tell her to watch out but she ends up colliding with Harry Harville. He picks her up turns her round and then carries on towards us. Towards Fred I mean! Not me. Not us. There isn't an 'us.' _I so want there to be an 'us.'_

When I look again Harriet has left the hall. Fred is flanked by Harry and James. They start talking about Sophia's audition and how long they're likely to wait. I realise this is my chance of a swift getaway, as I make my move, Fred steps away from them and back in front of me.

"Where are you going?"

"I… I have to join miss Russell to watch the auditions. I'm the Team Captain I'm supposed to watch and judge or something."

"Oh yeah right. I was thinking we could have watched together or something, so I could Soph some pointers. But it doesn't matter. I'll see you after?"

"Aren't you going to get off after Sophia sings? You don't have to stay until the end."

"Yeah I know, but we haven't really got anywhere to be, to be honest and besides…"

He trails off looking at me and then away and then back to me. His hand back to rubbing his neck. Why is he so nervous around me? He's not like this with everyone else. What's wrong with me?

We listen to Sophia as she takes her turn and I was right, she is good, she has the whole Norah Jones thing going on, something I've never grasped. I tell her as much as we chat later. She's so easy to talk to. We become friends immediately, bonding over 'Supermodel street dancer jealousy.' I have to laugh when Sophia does an all too accurate impression of Lizzie and Louisa, flipping their hair and trying to make their boobs appear bigger by sticking them in the boys faces.

"So are you coming to Harry's party tonight?" Sophia asks.

"Party? No. I'm not, as you would say, in with that crowd, its more Lizzie, my sister."

Sophia looks disappointed, "oh I hoped I would see you there, my friends are going, but they're a bit on the immature side, all swooning after Freddie and his mates, and you're different. I don't know, you give off this whole 'I'm not interested vibe' and its refreshing." '_Not interested vibe?' Great!_

"Erm well maybe I could pop by, but I haven't even been invited and I was kind of supposed to be spending time with my best friends tonight."

Before I even get the words out, she's dragging Harry Harville over towards me. He was in conversation with some girl but immediately stopped when Sophia appeared. I chuckle to myself that this tiny little girl seems to be able to already wrap these boys around her finger. Its obvious to me that despite being Fred's little sister, they all seem to be her big brother.

"Harry, Anne. Anne, Harry. Can she and her friends come tonight or what?"

She pouts up at him with an obvious, 'this always wins' look, he eyes me up and down and then glances over to Fred who seems to be paying a lot of attention to our little scene, and then slowly nods, a wide grim appearing on his face.

"Yeah why not? I'm sure that will make you and I very popular, eh Soph?"

Sophia elbows him and goes slightly red, I stand there again not knowing what the hell is going on, as Sophia grabs my phone and starts entering her details. Harry returns to Fred slapping him on the back saying something to him that has Fred smiling and giving Harry a playful punch in the arm. Suddenly I feel anxious.

"Are you sure this is ok Sophia? I mean, what about my friends, and are you sure?"

"Don't be silly, Harry's parents are always working away so he does this all the time. Faye, his little sister will be there, as long as I agree to help with the clearing up, he lets me and my friends come too. Bring who ever you want. See you there."

In a flash she grabs the boys, and has run up the stairs and is out the hall. I sit down in the now empty hall and relay what has just happened. I sang - well, it would seem. In front of an audience. I made friends with Sophia Wentworth. Little sister of hot senior Fred. I pause, 'Freddie' she had called him. I smile, '_Freddie'_ hmmm. Where was I? Oh yes, then I am invited to a party with the rest of the seniors. A party my big sister will be attending and will probably not speak to me for the rest of my life if I go. Me. I chuckled to myself, threw back my shoulders and walked proudly out of the hall, head held high for the first time in a long time. _Wait while Harriet hears this one_, I chuckle.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

"Where did you say this place was Anne?"

"Up here on the left I think, number 18." I answer Chris.

Chris has very reluctantly and begrudgingly agreed to be our designated driver for the party. I feel bad asking him, but I trust him completely and I need to know I have an escape plan just in case tonight is, as I suspect, one big joke aimed at humiliating us. This has been eating away at me for the past couple of hours. I had tried to let myself get past it, to enjoy the idea of going to a house party with a load of seniors, with Fred in attendance. It was a dream come true after all, but at what expense. I had learnt a long time ago if something is too good to be true, it usually was. And here I was dragging my two best friends into this with me. Not that Harriet seemed to mind. I look at the smile on her face as she leans over Chris trying to look through the window.

"Harriet for Gods sake. Calm down. Or I swear I am going to kick you out!"

I glare at my best friend trying to get her to see Chris' side and calm down. She sits back in her seat and turns her head into the headrest watching me though the gap.

"What?"

"Don't what me Anne Elliot! Are we going to talk about this?"

"Harriet I have no idea what you are talking about."

"About this… this amazing party we have been invited to by Harry Harville himself. You do realise most kids in our year aren't even allowed to make eye contact with 'The Crew' let alone talk to them." She turns back to the front, then back to me "let alone make friends with them." She repeats the motion turning back and forth, "let alone get invited to a house party by one of them."

"Yeah well, most kids in our year don't have a sister in 'The Crew' do they? As much as I'm sure Lizzie wishes I wasn't forced to come and watch her rehearse, just so she can give me a lift home, it does come in handy I suppose. Although I don't think for a minute she knows I'm coming tonight."

"Ha! I can't wait to see her face. It will serve her right. She doesn't even notice your alive most of the time Anne. But obviously others in 'The Crew' do." Her voice upturns at the end implying something much more.

"What are you trying to say Harriet? I made friends with Sophia Wentworth, she's Fred's little sister so we acknowledged each other, that's all." I hadn't told her about the corridor incident. After all there was nothing to tell was there?

"His sister … yeah right." She looks out of the window smirking.

"We're here." Chris interrupts us stopping the car. Suddenly I feel very sick.

"I cant believe we're doing this, eeek!" Harriet squeals.

She, is so beyond excited I'm not sure how she's putting one foot in front of the other. Chris Croft my oldest friend and literally the boy next door, follows behind, definitely less excited at the prospect than Harriet.

He's kicking at dirt on the ground with the toe of his trainer, mumbling something along the lines of 'could have just stayed in a watched a dvd or something.' Harriet's glaring at him. He's made no effort what's so ever, then I chastise myself for thinking that. He doesn't have to make an effort. He doesn't have to impress anyone, none of us do. We're not friends with these people, we're not even in the same year! In a few weeks they would be gone and we would be seniors. So no. Chris in his faded t-shirt and worn out jeans is just fine. I look at him trying to restrain from the - he's like my brother thing- and try and see him as a _boy_. He is quite good looking. Dark blonde hair that always looks like it needs cutting, but that sometimes, when he ran a bit of gel through it, could look quite sexy. Grey blue eyes framed by long eyelashes. Really a boy had no business having eye lashes that long. Damn! He sees me looking.

"What?" He shrugs his shoulders and raises an eyebrow questioning me.

"Nothing."

I stifle a laugh. Knowing what he would say if he could read my mind.

I ring the bell, immediately hating my clothes and silently wishing I'd worn something else. I've got on skinny jeans, black spaghetti strap top and sparkly ballet flats. I'd not worn much make up as I tend not to bother and left my hair loose, still damp from washing. As Harriet had monopolised the whole dressing table and bathroom areas, I hadn't had time to straighten it and it was starting to curl into its natural state.

The door opens after the second ring and I'm pulled into a hug by Sophia looking unbelievably cute in a little white halter neck dress and kitten heels, her rich auburn hair is pulled into a messy bun, effortless but incredible all at the same time.

I see Chris looking her up and down and smile to myself. Now who's wishing they were at home with a dvd? She hurries us in to the kitchen, where apparently all the action is. I walk in to find Lizzie and Louisa scowling at me. I smile at them.

"Hey Liz, I didn't know you were coming here tonight, you could have given us a lift."

I laugh to myself, the idea of Lizzie arriving anywhere other than our house, with little sister in tow, was never happening!

She didn't even give me an answer, just walks right past me into the other room, like I was something nasty she'd walked in and needed to be rid of. Harriet and Chris ignore her as normal, they were used to the way she treated me. But Sophia and Fred stood opened mouthed staring. I felt an explanation was necessary.

"Er we don't really get on that well." That's putting it mildly! I look down at my feet, concentrating so much on the kitchen tiles I'm sure I could put a hole in them.

"BI-A-TCH!" Exclaims Sophia. Everyone goes silent and then I burst out laughing, at my outburst everyone follows suit and we are all laughing.

Louisa and Lizzie return to find us all laughing and when she asks what's so funny, it just starts all over again. A couple of hours and drinks later, we all stood around the kitchen. Lizzie and Louisa are else where. Harry and James are talking to Harriet. Chris and Sophia are tucked away in a corner sharing a private joke and out of the corner of my eye I see Fred eyeing them suspiciously. Fuelled by the alcohol I decide to speak to him. Just to put his mind at rest.

"He's a lovely lad, you know? Chris. He's my next door neighbour." I'm met with silence so I continue, "I've known him forever. I can vouch for him?" I ramble on about how trust worthy and gentleman like Chris is, until I feel a hand on my arm.

I immediately stop talking as an embarrassing flush spreads over my already warm face and neck. He smiles at this and turns to me, full on beam like grin. "What?"

"Nothing, its just that's the most you've ever spoken to me." He grins again.

I blush even deeper and wish the floor would swallow me whole. He leans in.

"Listen, Anne, I like you."

I can't move, what is it about this boy that makes me turn into a statue every time he looks at me and now this? He _likes_ me.

Like, _like_ likes me? I take a deep breath as he moves even closer and continues.

"I've liked you for a while. I see you sitting at the back of the hall every week, humming away and I've been dying to talk to you, I didn't out of respect for Liz, but after her little display tonight, I thought, what the fuck? You can only say no right?"

I'm not sure if I'm drunk, he's drunk or I'm plain just dreaming, but I muster up some courage from God only knows where, so I can ask…

"No to what?"

"No to going out with me." He's rubbing the back of his head again. I grin. Now he's blushing and looking at the floor. I made Fred fucking Wentworth blush!

"So, does that mean you're asking me out?" Panic rushes over me, I need to pace.

He shuffles his feet, and smiles again, "Anne, will you go out with me?"

What do I say? I say nothing. I grab a shocked Harriet and Chris, and run.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

Hmph, that was pretty good, I may use that next week for the Glee club. I had just belted out a Taylor Swift number into the empty Hall. I had turned the lights off with just the spot light directed at me, so I could try and prepare myself for more stage appearances. An idea that was about as appealing to me as a needle in the eye. I'm just about to exit off stage when a single applause cuts through the silence. My head whips round automatically to see where it was coming from.

"That. Was. Amazing!"

I look up towards the spot lights, using my hand as a shield against the glare, out at the audience to see who has snuck in to my private rehearsal and heard me sing. Mortifying as that is, it just gets worse. Even blinded by the spotlight, I can tell its Fred walking towards me. I'd know that silhouette and that voice anywhere.

"Thanks, I didn't realise I had an audience." I try to keep my voice free of all emotion but instead it comes out as an irritated snap.

"Yeah sorry about that, I couldn't resist. I had to hear you again. I couldn't believe my luck when I came past and heard you. I thought someone had left their ipod on."

I blush at the compliment. I wish I was that good. I can see him more clearly now. Wow. He has on a plain black t-shirt and khaki combats, so simple and plain and yet un believably sexy. Seriously it can't be legal for him to walk around school like this. I know he only has a month left before he leaves, but all of a sudden he seems to old for school. He must be on his way to train. I glance at my watch and realise it's the this time when I'm normally at the back of the school hall watching. But I had been going less and less lately since Glee Club Started. And the small highly embarrassing fact I had run away from Fred and the rest of his friends at a party I was un expectedly invited too, avoiding him ever since. Shit he's climbing on to the stage.

"What are you doing? I thought you didn't sing?"

"Oh I don't, but you do, and as I said, its amazing. Why don't you let everyone see how good you are?"

He's looking in to my eyes and all of a sudden I feel I can tell him all my secrets.

"I have a bit of a, well a big, problem with stage fright."

"Yeah, Sophia told me about it." He grins mischievously. "I just wanted to know if you'd tell me yourself."

"I don't know how to respond to that." I look at him curiously, "so what are you doing here?"

"You haven't been coming to watch me, us, practice, 'The Crew,' I mean."

"So? I'm sure you can practice without me watching you, them…not that I was watching you…them…'The Crew,'… I just sat at the back." I need to pace.

"Yeah I know, but the thing is I kind of got used to seeing you every time I looked up. I used to have this little bet with myself on whether I could get you to smile or not, just by wishing it."

I can't help smiling at this. He steps closer to me. Suddenly I very aware were alone in here, and its dark.

He leans forward and whispers into my hair, his warm breath on my neck. "Looks like I win again." He steps back. I can feel the heat radiating off my skin, I must be red all over right now. He takes a step back his thumbs holding on to the belt loops in his trousers. "I'm here, because I had an idea for the whole stage fright thing and I wanted to see if it works."

Without another word, without me having the time to ask what, he's closed the gap between us and is kissing me. I mean, full on, earth moving beneath me, rom-com ending, room spinning, all the clichés I can think of, kissing me. And I am stunned!

A few seconds in I give in to my bodies urges to respond and kiss him back, he groans a little and then deepens the kiss by adding his tongue. I am stood on the stage in the school hall, spot light shining on me kissing Fred Wentworth. And its amazing. I feel like I'm flying - butterflies in tummy - the whole shebang!

This new development, as wonderful as it is, is scaring me to death, but at the same time it feels so right. Like we just fit together. Is that even possible? Our first kiss and its like he's already tainted every other kiss I'll ever have here after. Like every other kiss I'll ever have will be compared to this.

Before I know it, we've stopped, he's stopped. I open my eyes and realise we are in fact on the stage in the school hall and not flying through the air on a magic carpet or something else 'Disney-esk'. He's looking back at me with this intense expression that makes my knees go weak. All I can think is "wow," wait did I just say that out loud? Someone did. Shit!

"I said, wow!"

Then I realise, I didn't say it, Fred did. I'm just getting this thought processed in my mind, when his smiles drops and he looks at me concerned. His cool guy persona fading rapidly. He looks…_nervous_. He raises his hand towards his neck, but sees me looking and drops it again.

"Erm ... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have ... done that, I'm such an arsehole! I thought it would help ... give you something to think about next time you we're ... I shouldn't ... I mean… You probably don't think about me like that. Do you?"

It's funny and endearing all at the same time. Then I realise it's because I've been standing here like a freaking idiot no reaction what's so ever. I need to speak.

"No! No."

"No?" his face drops along with his shoulders, sadness in his eyes, he looks hurt.

"No, no, not NO! No." What am I saying? Now he looks confused. He grabs my hands and its electric.

"Look Anne, I've liked you for a while now. Whenever you come to watch us in the hall. It makes my day. I told you I liked you the other night and you ran out of the party, I kiss you and you don't speak, I'm putting myself out here and I'm starting to feel like a complete dick head. I thought, I mean, don't you have any feelings for me?"

"Well yes, you're Fred Wentworth for fucks sake, every girl in school, and probably some of the boys, would love for you to say those things and kiss them. But that's not what I meant. I do have feelings for you. I do like you ... a lot..."

His eyes light up as his face relaxes into a smile. "So what's the problem?"

"It's just, why me?" And then I confess, what I'm really thinking, what I'm always thinking and what's really always kept me in Lizzie's shadow. Tears threaten.

"You should have want someone like Lizzie or Louisa. I'm … a nobody, I'm nothing."

Fred laces his fingers through mine and looks into my eyes, its like a motorway car crash, I cant steel my eyes away from his.

"Anne, you're somebody to me ... you're _everything_ to me."

I feel my whole body flush and then a smile creeps onto my lips, and then we're kissing again.

Somewhere inside I know I should be freaked out by his declaration so early on, or realise in all probability, he's lying, just saying that to me. But as I look into his eyes and feel his hand holding mine, the only thing I believe is ... everything he said.

The fact that anyone could feel those things for me, just seems impossible to me, but here he was, the most popular lad in school, saying those things and I believed he meant them. Every word.

We break apart, he's still holding my hand. Like he doesn't want to let me go in case I ran again. Yeah like that's going to happen now!

"Soooo." He grins at me and squeezes my hand.

I grin back "So?"

He shuffles his feet, takes my free hand in his and stares into me eyes again.

"So ... Anne Elliot, will you go out with me?… Please?"


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

After that day, everything went by so quick, once together we fell rapidly and deeply in love. Sixteen wonderful amazing incredible months of kisses, cuddles and ... _everything else's, _later and I'm stood on the same stage, microphone in hand, ready to go on and end the school year with the production miss Russell has been planning for the past 3 months.

I stand there and begin my normal mantra 'there's no one here, its just you' when I feel a familiar pull inside me as a pair of arms snake around my waist and pull me backwards so I leaning into a rock hard body. I look up into the dreamy ocean blue eyes of my boyfriend.

Fred Wentworth is my boyfriend, eek! Still gets me every time.

Freddie - yes, now I get to call him Freddie too - Lizzie and the rest of 'The Crew' have all since left school and are now at their different Universities. But my wonderful boyfriend has travelled back to show support for my big night. As the music starts, Miss Russell comes up to us.

"One minute to curtain up Anne," she doesn't even acknowledge Freddie.

She finds him a bad influence, owing to the amount of rehearsals I've missed or been late for, just so I could spend a few minutes more emailing, phoning or texting Freddie. I sigh.

"Its going to be fine babe," _love it when he calls me that, _then he draws me close, kisses my head and whispers "just remember, you're somebody, you're everything."

I turn around in his arms so I'm facing him. Placing my hands on his shirt messing with the buttons. Those bottomless blue eyes staring into mine. He runs his hands up and down my arms. Whispering in my ear how gorgeous I am, how I'll knock em dead, but most of all, how much he loves me. A shiver runs down my spine and I feel I could do anything, seriously walking on water would not be out of the question right now.

I take to the stage and sing the best I ever have. It turns out Freddie wasn't the only who thought so.

That night I was picked up by a record producer. It all happened so quick, my dad was made my manager as I knew nobody in the business. I was only eighteen and had intended spending a couple of years at Uni, having fun at last and spending time with Freddie. Now I was having people make my decisions for me and telling me what I was going to be doing. Freddie was incredible, so proud of me. We were determined to make it work.

The three months before I started Uni we wanted to go away and be alone. But I had to be at the studio most days so it wasn't an option. I tried to make Freddie go away with the boys and enjoy himself but he chose to stay behind with me, he wanted me to know he was there when ever I could see him. We called all the time and saw each other when ever we could, but between all the meetings, lawyers, looking at contracts, my dad and miss Russell advising and everything else, we barely saw each other above once a week. It killed me not being able to see him.

He had always been amazing on the piano and keyboards, but now had taken up song writing in his last year at school, when we were together. He confessed he'd been afraid to show anyone what he could do, but he said being with me gave him more confidence. So he dropped out of uni, got a job and started writing when ever he could. I knew it was a shaky thing to do, but we were still young and he deserved the right to try for his dream like me. Deep down I was proud of him, and I knew he could do well. His lyrics were amazing. I hoped I got the chance to sing them one day.

Even though I had been signed, I still wanted to go to Uni. I had worked so hard and wanted something to fall back on, ready for the bubble to burst. The weekend before I moved to Bath for Uni, Freddie had this amazing time planned for us, it was so romantic. And so good to just be us again. We had a picnic and laid out on the grass in the sun talking for hours about our dreams for the future, our future. We talked about where we could live, places we could visit. We even picked out names for our un born children. We were so in sync it was scary.

He showed me songs he was working on and I tried to criticise, but I loved everything about him, including his work, so it was always hard for me to put him down in any way. All of a sudden I could see our future. Me singing the songs he wrote for me.

The trouble was, no one else saw it that way, my dad had got more and more disapproving of Freddie, he thought he was a drop out who didn't know what he wanted and laughed at the thought of him being a song writer. Miss Russell thought him brilliant but head strong and wouldn't amount to anything.

I believed in him. I loved him.

Before we knew it, Sunday had rolled around and I was stood in his pokey flat- that secretly I loved - packing. I looked around at the un made bed and wished I could get in pull over the covers and stay there forever, with Freddie beside me. While I fold my clothes I allow myself to re play all the magical moments from this weekend. My eyes fill with tears as I silently wonder when the next time we'll even see each other will be. I sense rather than hear him enter the bedroom. He leans against the wardrobe, his hands linked behind his head. Something's up. During the weekend Freddie seemed a bit nervous and I put it down to him knowing we were going to be apart and what that might mean.

Then out of no where, Freddie is down on one knee, and I am like holy shit, is he? He cant be? He's not going to...

"Annie, I love you, the past year has been amazing, when I got to Uni I was surrounded by girls and chances, and all I can do is compare them to you. I don't want any one else. I know I never will. I want you. I promise I'm going to make this song writing work, and you're going to be a famous singer, like your mum always wanted, you will be a star. I want you to marry me. And we'll have this amazing life all the things you've ever dreamed of. I promise I'll take care of you and make all those things come true. I can write anywhere, so I can come with you where ever you want to be. I want to be the one you wake up to and to fall asleep each night with you wrapped around me. I want you to be my wife."

He looks up at me tears glistening in his eyes as he holds open a black velvet box containing a single solitaire ring. It wasn't huge, it wasn't thousands of pounds, but it was from him, to me, and I loved it like I loved him.

I said yes without even moving my lips, I just leaped at him and threw my arms around him. Fred pulls us both over to the bed and me into his lap, kissing me over and over. While he puts on the ring on to my shaking finger and kisses it.

I didn't care I was only just nineteen, I knew I wanted to be with Freddie forever and him with me, we were invincible! I wanted to shout it from the roof tops how much I loved this man. But as we tried to come down from our romantic high, Freddie told me he didn't want anyone to know until he'd asked my dad. Freddie's dad had walked out on his mum and them years ago, and he wasn't all that close to his mum who had taken it pretty hard when their dad left, more than once implying it was because of Sophia and Freddie. So all he was worried about was my Dad and Sophia.

"I'll text Sophia now and tell her to meet us at your house, I won't mention why, I'll just tell her we have some news." Fred is beaming. I've never seen him so happy and makes me even more happy, if that's even a possibility at this moment. He attempts to hold me on my knee while he texts Soph but in the end gives in and has to let me go. Immediately I feel like apart of me is missing and he's only sat beside me. Then it hits me. Its because he _is_ a part of me. He's my other half, my perfect fit. I've got it bad!

"Oh my God I can't believe this is happening! I'm engaged! We're getting married!"

Suddenly I'm shaking. All the adrenaline is hitting me. I start pacing, I always do this when I need to calm down and think for a minute. I knew Soph wouldn't be a problem. We had grown really close since we had been together, _so had her and Chris! _

I wasn't worried about my dad either. I mean between Lizzie's modelling contract and acting career and my little sister Mary's hypochondriac tendencies, he didn't have much time for me. I was a way to a means, in this case money! Not much else. I knew that and was ok with it. I didn't want the money, hell I didn't even really want the fame, I just wanted to sing and if this company was willing to pay me for the trouble, so be it!

Fred grabs me and pulls me back down to the bed, "Hey hey, stop that, stop thinking! I'll take care of everything don't worry. I love you. You love me. We're engaged!" Then he pulls out his phone again holding it at arms length and takes a photo of us.

The most amazing thoughts were running through my mind,

Mrs Anna Wentworth. Fred and Anne Wentworth. Mr and Mrs. Forever.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

The next week was a horrific, awful, terrible blur. Freddie wanted to be traditional and ask my dads permission, once asked, my dad erupted. Shouting at Freddie calling him a money grabber, saying it was because I'd been signed, that he wasn't good enough for me, I needed to cut him loose. I felt sick. He told me he was a nothing, with nobody but himself to recommend him, no hope of amounting to anything, song writers were 'ten a penny', anyone could jot down a few words that rhyme and call themselves a song writer. He would amount to nothing. Then twisting the knife, he went on to say, I would have disappointed my mum. As if I didn't feel the pain of her not being alive to witness my happiness, now he made me feel she would have hated me for it. She wouldn't have loved Freddie, like I'd always thought she would.

Freddie stood and took everything he threw at him, he never once shouted back or swore, he just kept repeating he loved me and would move heaven and earth to make me happy. To which my father told him to move himself from his sight. He was no longer welcome in our house. I told Freddie to wait outside while I spoke to him.

I tried to make my dad see sense, but he kept telling me how hard everyone had worked to get me where I was: my mum, him, miss Russell. The record company didn't want some teenager about to get married. That wouldn't make me the next big thing. I replied I would leave it all behind for Freddie. He looked like someone had just slapped him the face. Then switched tact, telling me that if Freddie wanted to be famous and successful too, he needed to be away from me as he would always be in my shadow. He persuaded me that our engagement was wrong, and we wouldn't make it. We would grow apart as we grew up and resent each other for tying the other down.

For some reason, these words hit home.

I couldn't have Freddie put his career aside for mine, for me. What about him? Would he expect me to follow him anywhere and give up all what I had worked for? I knew I would in a heartbeat, but should I? I knew what I had to do. I would talk to Freddie. Explain how it made sense for us to wait, to let me get through University while he concentrated on getting himself straight. But I knew in my heart it would mean the end for us. He wasn't the type to wait, he wouldn't understand this was a good thing, he would just see it as rejection. But I was already walking towards the door.

That day, I made the single biggest mistake of my life.

I calmly walked outside to where Freddie was sitting assuming I was smoothing things over, and told him we should wait. That I wanted to cool things off for a while.

He immediately jumped up off the front steps he'd waited patiently on, and began stomping towards me, eyes wide and angry.

"COOL THINGS OFF? ANNIE! I've just asked you to marry me, the last thing I want to do is _cool things off_. I want you to be my wife! I want to share a home together, a life together, have kids ... all the things we've talked about. Things we want."

He grabbed my hands rubbing his thumbs across my wrists, his eyes pleading with mine.

He had me already, I did want all those things, more than anything I wanted them with him. The idea of having that with someone else, of _him_ having those things with someone else_, _scared the shit out of me. So much so, that for a split second I thought about giving in and telling my dad to stick it, but no, I had to see this through. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I looked away, guilty, ashamed.

"So this is it, is it? We're over. You're choosing your career over us. Over me?"

"WHAT? NO! That's not the reason! I don't want us to be over. I do want to marry you Fred and have all those things, but not like this. Not with everyone against us."

I knew my mistake immediately.

"Everyone? You mean your dad and miss Russell? They are not everyone Anne!"

I felt a jolt of pain at the fact I was back to Anne. 'Annie' had been his name for me. When we were in company he would refer to me as 'babe,' but when we were alone together, I was always 'Annie,' _his Annie_. Only my mum had ever called me that and he had asked once if he could start and I was so moved by the gesture I immediately agreed. It felt so natural and so special. I was only ever Anne after that, on the rare occasion we'd had a fight. Returning to Annie the minute we made up.

"I didn't mean it like that. All I mean is, maybe nineteen is too young, we haven't been together outside school, not in a real relationship, we haven't lived together, we haven't even been on holiday together! We can't just jump into this. If we just carry on as we are for a while longer ..."

"CARRY ON AS WE ARE! IS THAT A FUCKING JOKE? We can never be the same after this Anne. Never!" He spat out the last word. "This will always be there, between us. I can't be with you knowing you don't feel like I do."

"Freddie, I love…"

"DON'T! Don't lie to me anymore. If you loved me like I love you we wouldn't be stood here having this conversation you would have walked out of that house saying you had told your dad to sod off and you were marrying me anyway. You're nineteen! You don't need anyone's permission. But no. You're letting them take the blame for this Anne. Using them as an excuse, and that's all it is. Now you're going to be rich and famous you don't need some 'struggling writer school crush' pulling you down. It's an excuse for walking away from me, from us. Just admit it!"

He roughly wiped the tears from his face, clenching his fists, pacing up and down the drive, as if angry with his body for betraying him. His stopped abruptly, sniffed and straightened his back, running his hands through his hair. The warmth disappearing from his eyes, anger taking over fully now. It was as if he was trying to push any feelings left for me out of him. I knew that was what he was doing, preparing his heart. Forcing himself not to love me anymore. The pain was so bad it consumed me. Like that sick feeling you get at the top of a rollercoaster right before you drop, that feeling when you're in between awake and asleep and you feel like you're falling? Those feelings were now taking over me. He sucked in a long breath, and swallowed.

"Did you ever have any feelings for me? Or was it all just a game, just a laugh?"

That hurt the most, that he could really believe I'd faked the whole thing, all those moments together. I'd let him in to my heart. I truly loved him. All the times I'd promised I would never leave him, that we meant for each other, forever, that I would never hurt him. _Agreeing to be his wife_. Well I had pretty much just broke every promise I had ever made him. I felt like the scum of the earth. I swallowed the lump in my throat back down. I wouldn't cry. That would come later, now I had to be the strong one. I remained motionless, _emotionless_, like I did the first time he talked to me. Then without looking at him and ignoring his last question, I broke my silence.

"Then maybe we shouldn't be together. If we cant make it through this, if we aren't strong enough to move past it, then we should end it now." My eyes shut tight.

I could feel him looking at me, I heard the sob, I swear I heard his heart actually break in that moment. This was it, we were actually ending this. No. _I _was ending this. I still couldn't look at him, I knew everything I said was a lie. I wanted him to call me on it, to make me stay with him, to fight for us. Even if I knew I wouldn't know what to do if he did. I wanted him to try. But instead he sunk to the ground, his shoulders moving up and down as if he was crying, or trying his best not to. I jump as his fist bangs the floor. I wanted so much to go to him, but not now. I had done the worse thing possible. I had let myself be persuaded he wasn't good enough, that we weren't good enough to last the course. It hurt so much I thought I would die from the pain. I knew he was worse and that in return made me feel worse still. I would never get over this.

I took a deep breath in and did the only thing left to do. I took off that beautiful ring and slipped it into his shaking hand. He raised his head and looked straight at me. All I could see in those eyes was hurt and betrayal. I stepped back and looked away, anywhere but at him. The guilt building up inside me. He would find someone, someone who would make him as happy as he deserved to be. Someone - not me.

A car pulled up, Fred had text Soph to tell her we had some news. My heart sunk. Chris walked up to us, Sophia in hand, smiling. Then they looked at a distraught Freddie, and then at me and the smiles vanished. Sophia glared at me, the friendship we'd built up disappeared from her eyes. She helped Freddie into the car, not saying a word, Chris half smiled at me. I remember the car driving away. He was gone.

Finally, the tears I'd held back came in big chest constricting sobs, I let myself fall to the ground landing just where Fred had been sat. I pulled my knees up to my chest holding myself when I had no one else to do it. Harriet was gone to Uni, Chris and Sophia hated me, and Freddie ... I never wanted my mum so much as I did right then.

I was alone, and I knew then and there, no matter how famous I became, no matter how many people were watching I would always be alone. A nobody, a nothing.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9: Fred

8 Years Later...

"Bastard!"

I hiss, then immediately regret it, remembering where I am. Through the window I can see Henrietta, my assistant, looking up at the sudden outburst of profanities coming from my office.

I put my head out the door to apologise and then look back at the newspaper headline.

"Super Singer Anne Elliot loses fortune to fraud father."

Underneath is a photo of Anne wearing sunglasses looking drawn and thin, the adjacent picture shows her father driving away from his million pound mansion, holding a hand in front of his face to try and block the camera's. I'm so angry I could break something. My hand instantly goes to the back of my neck rubbing the skin.

Seriously Anne, you let him have sole control of your money? Letting them take over _again_. Letting them rule your life _again_. Letting them make all your decisions_, again_. I smirk to myself thinking how stupid of her. Even little miss perfect can fuck up. Then I sit and think on it a minute more, the smile slipping from my face. He's her dad, she probably thought he was looking out for her. She's always been like that, well, she always _was_ like that. How do I know what she's like now? She could be a totally different person. Then I look again at the picture of her face, even though I can't see those brown eyes, I know they're full of tears. She hasn't changed a bit and now she has nothing. As if out of habit, my fingers find her face, tracing her lips.

Rumours are she's about to be dropped from her label. Her last album sounded nothing like her and failed to make any sort of impact. I don't know what those writers were thinking. Matching some of those tracks to her amazing voice. She could have done so much better if she had just agreed to working with TMR - the label I work for - with me. This could have been so different. I already had a song, hell I had half a dozen! It was one of my more torturous past times for myself. Writing songs for her, songs that will never get sung. Because they were hers and if she wasn't going to sing them, no one would.

I still don't understand why she held back from working with TMR. They made her offer months ago and she refused. She must have known we'd barely have any contact, and after all she dumped _me_! She broke _my_ heart. It would have been my feelings that would been affected, my heart that would have broke all over again the minute I saw her, let alone heard her singing my words. Shit, maybe it was better off this way. I re read the story, words like "broken"... "end of the road"... "career in tatters" ..."father favours supermodel sister" jumping off the page. The report concludes with the suspicion that she's staying on her little sisters sofa. While she gets her life back in order. _Now who's the loser?_

And yet...

I don't feel like I've won, like I'm finally better than her. Than them. Here I am in my big office, making a fortune writing songs for superstars, getting more and more critical acclaim, while her career's in shreds.

All I feel is sick. I crumple the front page and aim it at the bin, missing, hitting my Grammy award instead- there's probably some irony in that somewhere. I stand back looking out of the window at the amazing view, at my reasonably sized office. The awards, the photos of the stars I'd worked with. I had accomplished everything I set out to and more. But it wasn't enough. Inside I still felt there's something missing.

As I go through the rest of my post, I find an invite for Sophia's wedding, I know all the details of course, being the one giving her away, our dad no longer in the picture. But she still insisted on doing this thing properly and sending me an invite, so I could at least invite a 'plus one'.

Immediately, my mind returns to Anne. She'll be there, she's bound to be. I know Soph never forgave her, but Chris is still a close friend of hers, and she did basically set the two of them up. But maybe she wont, with everything that's going on, maybe she'll stay away.

But if she doesn't?

FUCK!

Now I'm talking to myself, obsessing about a girl I haven't spoken to in 8 years. I slap my hand against more forehead trying to push her sweet smile out of my mind. I grab my phone scrolling through contacts until I reach the one I want, the one I need. My thumb hovers for a second. Why am I still doing this? Why are we still doing this stupid friends with benefits thing? It seemed so fun at first, when I was down and just needed someone to take all the pain away and make me feel wanted. But it was always the same brown eyes I saw when I shut my eyes, no matter who I shared the bed with. While off in a tormented - daydream come - nightmare, my hand starts to tremble.

My mobile's ringing. Its Harry.

"Fred, we going out tonight or what? Seriously we need to go out and get pissed."

I sigh, he's right. I need to get out, I haven't caught up with the boys in weeks since Chris' horrific stag night. But I'm just not up for it today. I glance at the ridiculous amount of un read emails in my inbox, secretly fantasying what it must be like to just delete the whole lot and not have to deal with the shit that comes with show business. I notice there's one from Charles Musgrove. He's a choreographer a lot of the acts from the label use. He's a good mate. The subject reads 'get together', should be interesting considering…

"I don't know Harry, I'm swamped with work and I was just thinking of phoning Lou."

Louisa and I had kept in touch through Uni and had had the occasional one night stand when either of us was feeling low. Not something I'm proud of, but it works for both of us, she knows the deal. But at the same time I know deep down she wants more. Especially now! I mean we're 31 for Gods sake! We shouldn't be running around like teenagers. She was gorgeous, all blonde hair and blue eyes, the exact opposite of… Could I be happy with her? Could I make her happy? Maybe I'm just jumping the gun, maybe I read her all wrong and she just wants fun? Just because of…recent events… it doesn't mean she wants something serious. In any case all I need is a plus one.

Yeah, she would come to this whole wedding thing with me, and if Anne was there, what better way to piss her off? My thoughts filled with big brown eyes, I try to talk. Not concentrating on what was coming out of my mouth, but rather on keeping the thoughts off how it felt to run my fingers through soft chocolate hair, I blurt out -

"What about Benwick, isn't he up for it?"

Regretting the words as soon as they leave my mouth. I know I've hit a nerve. James Benwick had been engaged to Harry's sister Faye, waiting to marry until they finished Uni, then waiting until they had work and security. In the end it all came too late.

Faye had been killed by a drunk driver a year ago.

James…He, he hadn't really gotten over it very well. Harry had to be there for his family, so James was sort of left to himself. For too long. I'd gone to see him one night not long after and found him in such a state that I didn't want to leave him alone. And now here I was joking about him going out on the pull. To Faye's big brother no less.

I slapped my forehead once again not knowing how I could get out of this one. Idiot!

"I'm sorry Harry, that was stupid of me, I've got a lot on at the moment that's all."

Long pause. Shit. He hates me. "You're talking about Annie Elliot right?"

I felt sudden relief at the fact my best mate was still talking to me but also cringing at him using her nick name, that was mine. She had been my Annie_, once._

"I've seen the news. That's one fucked up family! He's been using _her_ money to fund _her_ _sister's_ modelling career. How shit is that? What ever happened between you two anyway? You seemed really close before you left for Uni, I suppose you just drifted apart, long distance and all that?"

I couldn't answer. I'd never told anyone about my humiliating proposal and the ridicule I received off her dad. And later, her rejection. Only Sophia and Chris, knew the real reason we weren't together and they had never breathed a word. Whenever Anne had appeared on tv or on the radio, and they were there, Soph would turn it off immediately, tilt her head on one side and give me a look of pity that I hated.

Knowing my silence was going on a bit too long I say, "yeah something like that."


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

"But I _still_ don't understand why we are going to _their_ house, and staying with _them_."

Louisa's voice was starting to grate on my last nerve, being cooped up in a car with her for too long was driving me mad. Not to mention I had a stinking hang over. It reminded me why we didn't usually talk. _Annie's voice didn't grate_. STOPITSTOPIT!

I glance over at her, straining a smile. She looks hot. White jeans that cling to her long legs, a pale blue top tied in a knot at the waist showing off her flat stomach, like girls at school would do in the summer, trying to look grown up. Her long hair gleaming like gold in the sun and her big blue eyes looking intently at mine. Then I turn my attention on to myself. Grinning to myself at the thought of how it took me nearly two hours to decide what I was going to wear, how to do my hair, what was I fifteen? My watch was expensive, the car I was driving also. Not my usual. Something I'd hired for the week just to confirm my wealth. I feel so shallow right now. This isn't me. Yeah I have a nice car, nice house and nice clothes at home. But to be honest I hate that big empty house. I find myself spending more and more time with the Musgrove's or Soph. Enjoying their family time pretending I can have that one day.

There's nobody waiting for me, nobody to ague with over what movie we're going to watch that night or cuddle up with on the sofa. No one to have to fight for the covers with in bed. Shit I'm depressed now. This is not the frame of mind I want to be in going here. Charlie and Mary with their cute little twin boys and big homely barn conversion. I hate my life so much right now. I cant wait to stop driving just so I can have a drink. I slump into a silent debate with myself whether or not I am becoming an alcoholic when Louisa's grating voice brings me back to reality.

"I mean, she's your ex girlfriends little sister, isn't that a bit, you know, weird?"

"As I explained, yes, Mary is my ex girlfriends little sister," I flinch not wanting to say her name out loud, afraid it would give me away "but she's married to Charlie Musgrove. He's a great Choreographer and a damn good mate. He offered. I accepted. End of."

"So has she changed do you think?"

She's holding another paper with Anne's photo on the front. I glance at it, not trusting myself to look at her properly.

"Yeah. A lot. To be honest I don't think I'd recognise her, if it wasn't for all this."

Taking my hand from the gear stick gesturing to the paper.

Louisa smiles at this, pleased with my answer. It makes me like her a little less. I didn't mean it of course, to me, _she_ could never change. Never. Ever.

"Plus, they live much further north than me, and as my darling little sister has decided a castle in Scotland is the only place princess Sophia can get married, it makes sense."

My long winded explanation seems to have shut her up. Shrugging, she puts her earphones back into her ears and closes her eyes. Thanks God some peace!

I know deep down she's right, this is another ridiculous situation I've got myself into. The 'get together' email was an invite for me to join them for dinner. Charles was in town working and also to see Chris about something they were arranging for Sophia at the wedding. Mary was there too and bored, so Charles decided my company would cheer her up! I immediately thought, no way! This would be too awkward. Charlie at work I could manage, but Mary. No. What if she looked like her? What if she sounded like her? What if she knew about us? I know she was at a different school at the time and being four years younger, not really part of our crowd. But obviously Lizzie knew, and her dad, surely it must have come up at some time? But in spite of my better judgment I heard myself say 'yeah' and 'what time?'

I was wrong. On _all_ counts.

She was nothing like Anne and she had no idea about us, thank god.

She knew Anne had had a boyfriend, but luckily, didn't remember who. I had spent an awful two hours having them take the piss out of the fact, I can write romantic songs, but couldn't sustain a relationship. I'd laughed it off, all the while thinking 'if only they knew how close I'd been to having a wife!' They had continued their ribbing until I'd stupidly put an end to it by mentioning Louisa. Before I could explain the 'no strings attached' status of our '_relationship_' they are off in their own little world surmising all sorts of futures for _us_. As the drinks continued to flow I foolishly agreed us staying in hotel was crazy, and it made much more sense for me and my 'girlfriend' to stay in their house.

Charlie had mentioned _her_ once. Suspiciously when Mary had excused herself to the ladies. He explained how busy she was, she had to replace her father as manager, with old friend and teacher Viv Russell. I was seething at this piece of news, she had been another one that was far from upset at Anne and I breaking up. She'd never liked me, always referring to me as 'the bad influence', rather than loving supportive boyfriend.

I was getting more and more angry. I wouldn't let her spoil this for me, it was my little sisters big day. That's why I'd brought Louisa after all, one look at her, at me, my expensive clothes, car, she'd know I'd proved them all wrong and had made something of my life after all! And in any case, _she wouldn't be there. _

After we split, I dropped out of uni, sold my car, most of my possessions and took myself and my notebook off to LA. Everyone had thought I was crazy, that I was just going to end up broke or broken. But I was already there, rock bottom, so to me there was no way but up. Who would have known that all that misery and heat ache would find itself on to my page and in front of a record company who signed me within six months of being out there? I'd always been lucky. _Nearly always_.

We arrive at the village of Uppercross where Charlie has his dance studio and I immediately regret bringing Louisa. Having to keep up this pretence of being more than we were was going to be too much and I had the distinct feeling Louisa was a little more into it than me. Charlie is heading down the drive, twin sons in tow, to help with the bags. His strawberry blonde hair looking ruffled as if he'd just been running his hands through it and his cheeks are tinged red. He's dressed casual wearing khaki shorts and a blue shirt, but looks far from relaxed.

"Hi Charlie, how's things?"

"Just great! Freaking awesome" he shakes my hand a little too vigorously and I get the distinct feeling he's hiding something and things are definitely not 'freaking awesome'.

"Is everything ok?" I lower my voice, not really wanting to do the girlie thing and talk feelings.

"Yeah its just, Mary's dad, what a bast ... bad man," he stops as he sees the kids, but I know exactly what he was going to say.

I smile "my sentiments exactly."

He smiles back but it doesn't quite reach his eyes, and as we walk towards the estate, a sudden thought hits me like a ton of bricks,

'_Anne_ _Elliott on her little sisters sofa' _

No way! She couldn't … bollocks!

I am in the hall way and face to face with the love of my life.

Annie. My Annie, or Anne as she would be now. She had to be. I stole the chance to look at her as Charlie was stood in front of me blocking me from view. I took a deep breath, taking her all in. What had happened to her? She looked so tiny, like she could break. Her gorgeous olive skin was pale and she had dark rings under her big beautiful brown eyes that I could see had lost their sparkle. Her long chocolate brown hair was scarped back into a viscous ponytail. Faded jeans. She pushed her glasses back on her nose and for a second my mind flashed back to the very first time I _really_ saw her.

She was just 17, so shy and timid, following Lizzie. I'd never got the whole Lizzie attraction. She always gave off the impression of trying too hard. She came onto me once. When I turned her down, she laughed it off saying I wasn't good enough for her anyway. For some reason I knew she wasn't joking. We managed to stay friendly for the sake of 'The Crew' but that's all. I first noticed Annie - _Anne_ - properly when Harry and James had been messing around and accidentally fell on her, not noticing her on the ground. She had her eyes shut humming away to her ipod and never saw it coming. She opened her eyes wide in shock and the world stopped turning. All I could see were those big beautiful brown eyes, so dark they were almost black, but at the same time so warm and welcoming. I've heard people say they could see their futures in their loved ones eyes, well when I looked into her eyes that's exactly what I saw. She ran her hand through her thick brown hair adjusting her glasses that were now askew, her olive skin flushed. Then she quietly jumped up and moved to another part of the hall like it was her fault. I knew then.

Back to the now and she was leaning against a wall almost camouflaged. Like she was trying to go un noticed. My earlier speech came back to haunt me,

'I wouldn't have know her.' _Annie, what happened to you?_


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

Charlie totally unaware of our previous relationship, let alone doomed engagement, decides introductions are needed, he gestures to Anne,

"well _obviously _you'll know who my superstar sister in law is" putting a protective arm around her, that for some reason makes me want to smash his face in_. _

Mary visibly flinches and I wonder what that is all about,

"but we'd better make a formal introduction…."

Just as I'm about to correct him of our history, Louisa jumps in.

"Oh we all _know_ each other. Nice to see you again Anne. You know, Fred and I have just been saying how much you've changed."

Oh please tell me she's not…

"In fact, Fred says you were so altered he wouldn't have known you!"

Anne, all this time, having her back so close to the opposite wall trying so hard to blend into the background, I'm sure she would've gone _through_ the wall had it been possible, jumps and locks her, now wide, eyes with mine, her whole face turning pink. A second later she drops her gaze looking at the floor, a strand of hair not quite long enough to join the rest in her hair band escapes and dangles in front of her face, she reaches up with a small delicate hand and tuck's it behind her ear. Then pushes her self off the wall and towards Louisa.

"Yeah, well ... eight years is a long time. Hi Louisa, still as gorgeous as ever."

She smiles but I can tell its forced, she nods in my direction not making eye contact again and I feel a stab of pain. The twins are shouting for her in the back ground she looks over her shoulder as if planning her getaway.

Then turning to Charlie, "We're ... old friends. I'm going to take the boys out to the garden for a bit, before lunch, ok?"

Without waiting for an answer she grabs the boys and bolts through a door at the end of the hall.

Wait. What just happened? That's it? Not even a hello? Well if that the way she wants to play it so be it, its ok with me. Strangers, as it should be.

Charlie's puzzled eyes follow her through the doors, as if he doesn't know what just happened either. He looks at me, then Louisa and finally at Mary as if silently questioning her. She shrugs and walks about mumbling something about finding a bottle.

"So Charlie, are you going to show us round this amazing place? I cant wait to see it now the renovations are complete."

I don't give a shit about seeing his stupid barn conversion. I just need to get my head in gear and out of this hallway where her perfume still lingers. She still wears the same brand I bought her for Valentines Day? Crap. I'm in so much trouble. Maybe its not too late to go to a hotel after all?

Charlie proceeds in showing us an in depth tour of the house, that as it turns out is not a stupid barn conversion but a beautiful home. Complete with dance studios across a courtyard.

After Charlie has shown us to our room, Louisa insists on a nap, so I decide to go downstairs and explore the studio out back, nothing to do with Anne being out there, _obviously_. As I pass through the glass wall walk way that leads from the house to the studio, I see her. She's sat on the grass watching the boys play in the sand pit. She looks so down and broken, not like the star she had been on her way to becoming. Then I think back to the last time I saw her, and I realise this is exactly how she looked then too. I want so much to go to her. My head saying, 'rub it in her face with a big fat 'I told you so'. My heart, wanting to hold her and make it all go away like I did when she had stage fright.

But then I hear someone approaching. It's Mary.

She looks at Anne, not with pity or concern or with any kind of sisterly love or affection, but with annoyance and distaste like she's irritating her just being there. She's clutching a champagne filled glass like her life depends on it. Her lips screwed up so tight her face could crack. As I look at her now, I forget she is the youngest sister. She looks older than her twenty four years. I have no idea why? She has ever had any worries as far as I know. Other than losing her mother at a young age. She grew up with sisters who loved her and a father who doted on her. Her teenage years living on her sisters fame and money. Only to meet and marry Charlie, pop out a couple of cute kids and live happily ever after. Right?

"She deserves everything she got you know."

I stand stunned, not sure if I have in fact just heard those words come out of her mouth, out of Anne's _sister's_ mouth. And I'm reminded back to a scene a long time ago with another sister, and Sophia's expression "Bitch!" Before I get a chance to ask why, she whines on.

"She wanted all the fame and glory, while people like me have to settle with being the little housewife sat at home taking care of the kids..."

I couldn't help but see the flaw in this, she's dressed up in designer gear, sipping champagne in the lap of luxury, while her sister, life crumbling at her feet, is out there playing in the mud taking care of _her_ kids. Again I try to open my mouth to respond and again she continues.

"I suppose you know she wanted this life though, don't you? She wanted to be me. She even wanted my husband!"

She gulps down about half a glass of the champagne, I can't hold my tongue.

"What? Do you mean her and Charlie..."

"Yes! Quite the perfect little pair, while they were at Uni, he was one of her back up dancers then. Anyway he soon saw through her, and then he met me, and the rest they say is history."

She drains her glass and turns to a nearby bottle to refill it.

I stand aghast, not sure what to make of what I have just heard. Charlie and Anne. My Annie and Charlie. Together? Like _together_ together? I can't believe it. And he left her for moaning Mary? No way! Is he a complete idiot or what? Well this just opened up a whole new can of worms. I have so many questions running through my mind.

They were together at Uni. How long for? How serious was it? Did they…? No! I can't even think about that! About her doing _that_ with someone else. I know I sounded a hypocrite. I'd done just that after all, with Louisa, one of her worst enemies, and now I was here flaunting it in her face. But Annie. I can feel bile rising in my throat and I swallow hard. Trying to smile at Mary, who is outwardly proud of the secret she has bestowed on me. Charlie? How am I supposed to work with the guy now? I shift my weight from one foot to the other, dying to get my un asked questions answered and at the same time never wanting to know the details. Ever.

I look at Anne playing with the boys. She should have been their mum, she could have been Charlie's wife. Why? Why did it end up like this? I couldn't believe Mary, that Charlie chose her over Anne. Charlie was a good man and he wouldn't give up some one like Anne that easy. There had to be more to it. Her dad or miss Russell at work again no doubt. Had they done this to Anne? Again? Either way she was alone, again.

Me and Louisa. Mary and Charles. And Anne….alone.

I shook my head trying to get the overwhelming feeling of wanting to take her in my arms, scoop her up and …What am I saying? She left me! She broke _my_ heart!

NO!

Even armed with this new insight into the life of Anne Elliot, I realised I still hadn't forgiven her. She'd given me up just to please others. She had shown such a weakness and timidity in her character, that even with her sweet shyness and stage fright, I didn't think was possible.

Knowing I wouldn't be able to look at either Charlie, or her, quite the same again, I turned to make my way back inside.

Not realising the window was open or the fact Anne could hear everything.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12: Anne

I blow out a long breath I didn't even realise I had been holding in. That was it. It was over, the worst was over. We had been once more in the same room. _What had happened to us?_ Once we had been so close, no two people so together, two hearts merged into one. No feelings so similar. Now we're like strangers, worse than strangers. Because we can never be anything more. We would always be apart. It hurt so much. Like the only part left of my heart had died. Yet, this is what I always wanted for him. For him to be happy, successful, and to meet someone else.

Still ... Louisa! Lizzie's clone-come-best friend. What was it she had said? "Wouldn't have known me" Really? That's what he thinks, have I changed _that_ much? Maybe it was just her being catty like when we were at school. But no, he'd been there, stood by, while she said it and never contradicted her. Wow. Talk about kicking a girl when she's down. I pull out a clump of grass in rage and let it fall through my fingers. This was my fault. It was always my fault.

He had changed. All for the better of course. Why shouldn't he? He had the designer clothes, tan, heck even his hair cut looked expensive. The car he drove, all the little clues he's done exactly what he'd always said, he'd made it. I always knew he would. His actual appearance seemed to have change too though. He'd always been gorgeous but now he had grown into his looks, he was thirty one and had the odd worry lines but he still made my knees weak to look at him. His voice was deeper. He seemed broader, larger, maybe it was just my memory plating tricks on me, apart from the odd magazine photo here and there, I hadn't seen him in eight years. I'd kept track with his career of course, all the awards and critical acclaim. I knew from being in the business singers that were lining up to work with him. Something luckily I'd always avoided even to my own end.

My last album. Eugh! What a waste of time and money. My head and heart weren't in it. The writers were less than useless. I'd been approached by TMR, the company Fred worked for and I'd refused, too proud for my own good, that was the last straw, I was out, contract over. That's when everything spiralled out of control. I'd asked my accountant how set up I was, did I have to work again? Then all the stuff about my dad came out and I realised I'd lost everything. Don't get me wrong, I was far from skint. I had material things- property, I could sell, but all the hard work, all the stuff I'd thrown my self into trying to get over him, it was all lost. I closed my eyes to prevent the tears from falling. I _never _let myself cry. If I started, I wouldn't stop.

I know Mary's dying to ask me about how we know each other. Her eyes said as much when we were in the hall way. I'll just tell her the truth, we were at school together. We fell in love, he asked me to marry him, I shattered all his hopes and dreams along with his heart. Well, maybe not the _whole_ truth!

Suddenly I can feel someone watching me. I risk a look out of the corner of my eye and I know its him. Even without seeing him clearly. It the way he makes me feel when he's near me. It was always the same. Even though we're separated by a wall of glass its like he's stood behind me now whispering in my ear, about how strong and amazing I am. I close my eye for a second and I can feel his breath on my neck. I casually change position and sit closer to the wall near the sand pit so I can pretend my focus is solely on the boys. I have my back to him and I can still feel his blue eyes burning into me. I hear Mary say something and realise the top windows must be open. I carefully try to block out the kids for a minute while I listen to their conversation.

Mary! "deserve what I got," wanted her husband, is he for real? Is my family just out to get me or what? She had to do it, she had to tell him _that_ story. God knows what he thinks of me now, some awful woman who breaks the heart of any man who tries to get close to her. But then, do I care? It was eight years ago Anne, and honestly I don't think you need any of that sort of _distraction _in your life right now.

I grab the boys round their middles blowing raspberry's on their bellies and tickle their ribs until their howling for 'Aunty Anne to please stop it'. I reluctantly let them go. God I love these kids. I sometimes let myself wonder how different my life could have been. All these years living like a shadow. Never feeling completely whole no matter what I do. When I think how mortified Mary was to be pregnant at nineteen. I would have given anything to swap places with her. When I was younger I often thought about the future, about being a mum, having a home instead of a house. But when ever I saw the face of the man I would share it with it was always the same blue eyes that looked adoringly at our children and me. I hadn't let myself have those dreams for eight years. Not even when Charlie and I were together. I tried. I tried so hard to make myself fall in love with him. But I think then I was always meant to love him more as a brother than a lover. He made me feel the same as Chris Croft. I loved them to bits, but I was never _in_ love with them. And there's a huge difference.

I risk a glance back at the window wall. Fred has left. I look at Mary as she stands leaning against her immaculate designer kitchen, in her immaculate designer outfit, gulping down her champagne like its water. She really is pretty, light brown curls framing her freckled her face. She could be so more prettier if she just smiled more. I don't get it, as she said, Charlie chose her. Okay, so it was technically after he started to get serious with me, and I freaked out and pushed him away, but even so. She does have the best life, she has a lovely home, a family. Two gorgeous little boys who love her unconditionally and even Charlie must love her to put up with her shit for this long. I'm jealous, there's no doubt about it. As I watch, Louisa saunters into the kitchen, every bit the supermodel she was in school. Now a beautiful woman who is sleeping with him, she is sharing a bed with him, doing God knows what, with _him_. I feel sick. Of all the people he had to pick _her_, seriously, was he trying to piss me off?

As I look at them laughing in all their gorgeousness, I smile to myself. I'm here in my tatty jeans, no make up, ponytail, specs on, and I'm meant to be the big star, the famous singer, Anne Elliott. It was like I was being transported back to that school hall watching 'The Crew' all over again. I was never happy being the centre of attention. It go so much worse when Fred and I were together. Lizzie and Louisa especially, couldn't understand why he would chose the shy timid glee club singer when he could have had any girl in the school. And to be honest I never understood either. But when I was him he made me feel like I was the most important person in the room. Like he really could see any other girls, only me. I always trusted him I knew it was me he wanted. He loved me when I was the nerdy little sister in the back of the school hall. Before all of the fame and stuff came along. The things my dad had said to him. God he never had it more wrong. I could have, _should _have been happier.

As if I need breaking from my memory, I suddenly feel a sharp pain in my side and a weight on my back, one of the twins, I'm not sure at this point which, has jumped on my back and is now kicking me in the side wanting me to get up and give him a piggy back ride. Jesus, when did these kids get so heavy? I look down at Nicky laughing at me and realise Jack must be the monster on my back.

"Come on Jack sweetheart, aunty Anne isn't really up to this today, I'm tired and you're too big."

He tightens his grip, I fall forward and try to steady myself, on my hands and knees in the mud - _figures_.

"Come on Aunty Anne, giddi-up!" He kicks me again. Christ it hurts! Little sod!

"Jack come on I mean it now you're hurting aunty Anne. I need to get up. Let me get up."

Nicki is now egging him on. I can feel myself sweating. I need something to hold on so I can get to my feet. I look round frantically for something, anything. My eyes are watering now as Jack's grip round my neck tightens. I'm struggling to breath. Jesus Christ. I'm going to suffocate. I am going to die right here in the garden, death by kid piggy back. I can see the headlines now. I daren't raise my eyes to the window wall because if Mary and Louisa are there, I will most definitely die of shame before strangulation! I manage to move his chubby little arm away from my face long enough to pull in a deep breath and speak.

"Jack, I'm getting really angry now, don't make me get mummy." I huff out.

This of course doesn't thwart him in the least, obviously Mary is not a big threat around here. Just as I am thinking its hopeless, I feel the weight being lifted and turn to see Freddie holding back Jack. I struggle to my feet. The oxygen finally filling my lungs. I take some deeps breaths trying to ready myself. Hands on my hips. Head down blowing out long breaths. I look at him. Knowing I'm sweating and breathless. _What a way to impress? _I try to find words, but my heads a mess. I just stand panting.

"Come on Jack that's not very nice is it? We don't hurt girls, say sorry to aunty Anne."

Jack looks up at the imposing form of Freddie, and immediately apologises, before running off. Nicky obviously worried he too may get told off, swiftly follows.

Before I get to say thanks for my rescue, he turns and leaves, without saying a word.

And it hurts.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13: Fred

As we sit through lunch, I can tell Anne is deliberately not making eye contact with anyone. Mary is trying to catch her eye, probably to ask for more details about us. Charlie, bless him, doesn't have a clue what's going on. Louisa's sitting there like 'the cat that got the cream', owing either to the fact she's with me, and Anne's alone, or because she knows about us and our hosts don't.

I daren't open my mouth. I can't believe I just did that. Why did I have to be the only one near her when Jack tackled her? I held back as long as I could but I couldn't see her struggle like that. It's nothing to do with our history. I'd have done the same for anyone. Yeah that's it. It was just a natural reaction to the situation. The immediate concern and worry that he had harmed a single hair on her head was all normal too. Right? The massive jolt of pain I felt inside me when I looked into her eyes as she tried to thank me and I walked away, not even acknowledging her was all just a normal reaction. Right? The over whelming necessity of wanting to hold and protect her, that's just a friend thing, right? That moment I touched her, the tips of my fingers buzzed with an electric like current as they grazed her skin while I prized Jacks limbs from around her beautiful back, was all normal, right?

Like fuck it was. I'm in deep deep trouble. And the weekend's only just begun.

I'm hot and uncomfortable all over again. I roll back my sleeves rubbing my sweaty palms on my jeans. I take another bite of my food, suddenly I cant swallow my mouths so dry. I'm chewing away. All I can see, breath, feel is her. I look round at the room. Mary and Louisa are chatting away, openly excluding Anne. Charlie is trying and failing, to control the boys. But to me, there's silence and the room is spinning.

I'm going to pass out.

Shit. I haven't felt like this since I had my wisdom teeth out. I never told anyone that story. Except Anne. She knew everything. She'd had come when I rang her from outside the dentist. Ashamed and embarrassed sitting on the edge of the curb head between my knees, afraid to put one foot in front of the other in case I fell. She had pulled me into the car, and known just what to do to make me feel myself again. Not once making fun. If only I could ask for her help now. Stupid. I know she's the reason I feel this way. Being here at this table with Louisa on one side and her across. Every time I look at Charlie I cant take my eyes off his hands thinking about them on her body and wanting to do him physical harm.

I excuse myself and rush to the downstairs bathroom. Locking the door I brace myself on the cool porcelain sink and look in the mirror. My face is blotchy and sweaty. I splash some water on my face and let the cold tap run over my wrists- a trick Anne had taught me to cool myself down. I took some long deep breaths. Come on Fred. You can do this. You've accepted a Grammy for fucks sakes. In front of millions of people on the TV. You can sit through a lunch opposite your ex fiancée. Shit. Girlfriend! Girlfriend. _Ex _girlfriend.

I return to the table deciding to not make eye contact with her at all, that can work. Plenty to look at in the dining room, no need to look a the those big brown eyes.

Mary speaks.

"So Fred, you must tell us all about LA, it must have been fantastic."

Finally!

A distraction something that doesn't involve her.

"Well it was eight years ago now, and I was only there for about two years before I came back here."

Mary looks crest fallen. Like she was expecting some juicy scandal, involving me and some slutty heiress, no doubt.

Then her eyes light up as if an idea has just struck her airy head, "oooh maybe we should go Charlie, that would be great fun."

"Yeah right Mary, _hello_, we have 4 year old twin boys! I don't fancy the hours on the plane! That's before we land and they get into allsorts of trouble! Fred went when he left school and didn't have a care in the world. He had no ties, no responsibilities."

I sense Anne shift in her chair, but I cant look at her, she knows why I had no ties. I realise _nothing_ about my life doesn't involve her. Even when we were apart.

"Yeah Charlie's right Mary, I was only twenty three, fresh out of Uni, and I was desperate to get my teeth into something. When I was twenty three."

I risk a glance at her, she's flushed, her cheeks getting pinker by the second, I know I'm torturing her going on about how old I was. That was the same year when she made the world stop spinning for me. But I continue.

"Yeah I was free, no one to answer to, so I took off. I can honestly say it passed without excitement, save getting my deal of course. Oh I did run in to a bit of trouble once. I was mugged, held up at gun point! I was naïve and stupid, wandered off into a bad neighbourhood, anyway, they rid me of my wallet and left my sorry behind calling the police."

I risk a glance in her direction, the pink has left her cheeks and she's a white as a ghost.

Louisa has her arm on mine, "thank God you got home safe." She actually looks like she cares.

As the drinks flow and the boys are taken away by the nanny for a bath, Mary suggests we play a drinking game of truth or dares. I don't like this idea at all, not only should Louisa not be drinking, there's a little too much familiarity in this group. Louisa with me, me with Anne, Anne with Charlie, Charlie with Mary, Mary being Anne's sister. Surely we don't want to hear all the little secrets this group has? I excuse myself to look at some pictures on the wall of Charlie working with various celebrities. I note Anne has done the same, making her way to the kitchen carrying the dirty plates. Isn't she supposed to be getting some much needed 'R&R' not playing maid to her moaning sister?

I turn my attention back to the group, Mary and Louisa are discussing a local pub that has karaoke on tonight, I smile, I'd love to hear her sing again. I hadn't let myself go to any of her concerts so hadn't seen her sing live since we were together.

"Oh but what about a babysitter?" Louisa is asking.

"Oh Anne, will watch the boys, she loves it!" Lowering her voice "it gives her chance to see how the real people live, you know? She knows I never get the chance to relax, and her job, well, they don't exactly work hard do they?"

Louisa is agreeing with her every word. I'm almost biting through my lip trying so hard to stop myself from fighting her corner for her with no one else to do it. But I can see Charlie shaking his head silently. Yeah, he knows exactly how hard people like Anne work.

"And besides, what fun would a karaoke evening be with a professional singer?"

I look up in time to see a plainly distraught Anne wiping a tear away with a towel. Charlie has seen her too and in a second is at her side, the girls haven't even noticed. He's whispering in her ear, and she's smiling obviously sharing an private joke. She bumps her hip against his, laughing. I don't like it. At all. Then he announces,

"so, Chris has this great idea as a wedding present for Sophia. Anne, he wants you to sing _their_ song while they dance, and I will choreograph the whole thing. He's got this scene planned, that involves you floating around the sky. On a harness of course.."

A harness? Is he shitting me?

Anne looks to me, her eyes pleading and I'm momentarily floored at her singling me out, but Louisa gasps, "that's sounds an amazing idea, aw Sophia will love it!"

I realise I need to say something, "This sounds a great idea, why shouldn't it be a musical event?" I grin. Anne gapes at me horrified. And Hurt.

Wait… What?…What did I just agree to?

Oh yeah putting Anne, who has crippling stage fright, God knows how high above a stage in a harness! Hanging about in a harness. A fucking harness for fucks sake! Fucking Chris Croft and he's stupid fucking ideas. Now I realise I'm saying fuck far too many times.

Lets put this into perspective. This is not a disaster.

The disaster will be, when she freaks out, comes crashing down and breaks her neck!


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14: Anne

I Fucking HATE Charlie Musgrove.

Harsh statement I know, but he is responsible for me hanging here above the stage in the studio, like a piece of meat in a butchers shop. An embarrassed Charlie is red faced and ranting at the lads responsible for the rigging. As I am now stuck! Something about the harness cable catching the _something or other _and the _thingymebob_ not releasing? I now realise how I should have been listening more carefully when they strapped me in, but I was that mortified at having some bloke fixing a strap between my legs across my backside and over my thighs I wasn't really paying attention. I was more concerned by the amount of fat oozing between the straps.

Within minutes I was being hoisted up to the ceiling of the studio, listening to Charlie trying to paint the picture of a serene love scene, only for some lad below to interrupt him, muttering a few choice swear words and informing him they couldn't get me down. I, being normally the calm one in any situation, began shouting some ideas of how I could be lowered, all to no prevail. Until Fred decided the fire brigade had to be called in. As no one else had a ladder long enough. He had gone back inside to ring the them.

I am hanging here surveying the scene, Mary and Louisa appear to be in absolute hysterics. No big surprises there, I'm enemy number one after all, and having me floating around for their amusement must be making for a great weekend.

My delightful nephews, are trying to aim their 'Nerf' guns at me, with the one who hits aunty Anne in the head being the winner. Then in comes Freddie looking about as amused as me at the situation. Suddenly I feel a tiny bit better. Immediately the girls shut up. He calmly tells the boys to stop aiming things at aunty Anne, and then informs everyone that the Fire Brigade are not taking this as seriously as he'd like, something about non emergencies and they will come out if they have time.

"Fucking magic!"

I quietly mumble to myself, but loud enough it would appear for Freddie to hear. I see the corners of his mouth turn up and a smile grace his lips.

Nice to know I can at least still make him laugh. I sigh- again. Looking back at Fred I can see a plan forming in his head. His hand rubbing the back of his head, his tell for when he was thinking. His eyes drifting to the scaffold about ten foot away from me, I follow his eyes up and across to where I am hanging. Before I get the chance to tell him no, Freddie Wentworth is climbing, literally climbing the scaffold and rigging at the side of the stage. I cant take my eyes off of him, the girls are shouting warnings, while Charlie looks on as if to say he should be doing this. I have to agree. Me being his one time love and sister in law, I mean, come on Charles! Don't let me be even more humiliated by having to be rescued by my ex!

Next thing I know Freddie is at the top and pulling me carefully towards him. When I am within grabbing distance he does just that, and pulls me into his arms. I'm safe. I'm safe and its all because of him. He did this when no one else would. My whole body is burning from his touch. He has me in his arms and it's like I'm home. I feel so comfortable its easy to forget where we are. At the same time I am so tense. Not sure how to react to the new closeness. We've barley said two words since our awkward re uniting and now here am pressed against his chest. I can smell him. The Fred Wentworth brand of yummy! I allow myself a swift glance into those eyes.

I try to stutter a thanks but he just smiles,

"couldn't have you hanging around up here, I didn't want the boys taking aim at that delectable derrière."

He winks. Before I can even process what he has said, let alone the fact he has spoken to me, his strong arm is behind the back of my knees and I am over his shoulder looking down at the floor. I can feel the blood rushing to my head at the heat to my cheeks. This is so embarrassing. As he begins carrying me, fireman style, down the rigging. And all I can think of is, "did he just say I have a nice arse?" From this view I could say the same thing!

Once on the ground, panic over, fire brigade cancelled. I sit there mortified, while Mary explains how this was all my fault, the evening now ruined, no time to go out etc etc. While simultaneously Charlie repeats over and over how sorry he is. All the time Freddie is being fussed over by Louisa, looking anywhere but at me. I start to think I imagined the whole 'arse' conversation.

After an _eventful_ afternoon we all slope off to our rooms to pack for the early wake up call. The wedding was in Scotland and despite my imminent dismissal, it seems I was still on good terms with some people. The record company was letting me use the company plane. This caused no end of 'lucky for some' comments from Mary and Louisa. Hey! I'm giving you a free ride in a private jet, can I do nothing right?

I lay in my bed looking up at white ceiling re playing the days events in my mind. What the hell was wrong with me? He doesn't want you Anne. He has Louisa. Louisa. Sweet, gorgeous no hassle Louisa. Some one he can have a life with. Louisa didn't end up strung from the ceiling needing to be rescued. Louisa didn't end up on her hands and knees in the mud over powered by a four year old. Louisa didn't get dropped from her record label and have her life splashed all over the front pages. Louisa didn't break his heart. Ugh. I need to get up.

I pick up my glasses and make my way over to the mirror the only light coming from the moon outside. I look at my reflection trying to see myself in his eyes. God no wonder he prefers her. Look at me. I'm three years younger then them, yet I look old. My skins is pale. I stretch the baggy skin that has formed beneath my eyes. Magnified by my glasses. My hair has lost its shine and hangs dull and limp across my shoulders. I always managed to maintain a nice figure, not too skinny but slim. It was still there but my whole body seem to slump. I tried to lift my shoulders back and stand straight- it didn't make any difference. It was just showing how I felt inside. Lifeless.

The cabin seats twelve, but seems smaller even with just the seven of us. Charlie is sat with Mary trying to prevent her from downing her body weight in free champagne. Fred is sat in a single window seat, chin in hand gazing out at the sky. Louisa sits opposite him. I'm at the back with the boys. All the way there Louisa repeatedly excuses herself to go to the ladies, or she's on her phone. I'm starting to dream up all sorts of crazy 'coke habit' stories in my mind. A glance out of the corner of my eye at Freddie frowning at her behaviour and I realise I'm not alone in my musings.

Finally, we land and are greeted by Sophia, Chris, Harry and James. Yes, Freddie's mates from school are here. _Great!_ This reunion gets better and better. Now I am officially back in the school hall with 'The Crew'. Thank God Lizzie has decided this wedding is beneath her and has decline to attend. Though, the way my luck is going, she'll probably pop out of the cake as a surprise guest. As the others have blanked me, I grab my bag and make my way towards the mini bus. I sit myself at the back and put my ear phones in, eyes shut. Wishing I had a sign to hang on me saying leave alone. Then I laugh, as if I need one. The others climb aboard oblivious to me at the back and carry on their animated conversation about all things wedding. I shut my eyes tighter trying to block them out.

All too soon we are at the hotel/castle where the festivities are taking place. Not wanting to be in the way anymore than I already was, I grab my bag and slip out as soon as the engine stops and straight into

"Harriet!"

"Anne Elliot! Oh My God! I have missed you so much."

Now being the shitty person we've already learned I am, I was persuaded, it was best I left all my friends behind too when I left Bath. I missed Harriet so much it hurt. We'd kept in touch through emails etc and I'd sent tickets for my shows, being the super friend she is, she'd come to them all, despite me not having the time to say two words to her.

"Oh God I've missed you too."

I manage to get the words out before promptly bursting into tears in her arms. Just as Freddie entered the lobby to check in. He stops in his tracks for a second, looking at me with the same intense stare he always had when he worried about me. It was as if time had stopped and there was only us two in the world. But then just as fast, it was gone. He looked down shaking his head and walked towards the desk not saying a word. We hadn't spoken a word since he rescued me. Maybe this was for the best. The first time I allow myself to cry in over eight years and its in front of him. Perfect.

After I pulled myself together and checked myself in, Harriett pulled me into the lift.

"What the hell Anne?"

"What?"


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

"No way. And he's with her. With Louisa. They're together?"

I've just finished filling Harriet in on my past few days of hell at the hands of my caring friends and family. I can't believe I cried. Even worse - in front of him. For that split second he looked like he really cared. I know that's not true of course. He probably thought I was some sort of crazy woman bursting into tears like that. I have only calmed down now thanks to a large glass of wine in the hotel bar and Harriet's reaction to my harness story. After collapsing in a fit of giggles at the idea of me hanging around the ceiling, she had turned back into my supportive best friend and couldn't believe Fred could be turned by a "cow-bag twat faced"- her words not mine- "stick insect like her." Its like we had never been apart.

"I mean look at you Anne you're so gorgeous and you're tits are real, we both know hers obviously aren't. God only knows what else she's messed with!"

I burst out laughing at this, I mean really full on belly laugh, and Harriet is laughing too and its like were kids again. All the shit I've been through with my dad, Lizzie, Freddie, Mary, it all explodes into giggles, so much so the other guests in the bar are starting to stare, this makes us laugh even more. I have happy tears streaming down my face. For the first time in weeks I'm glad I decided to come.

This feeling immediately passes when I see Sophia heading towards us. Shit. The last time we spoke was ... not nice. Putting it unbelievably mild. Words were exchanged, names were called, by her ... of me. I had let her vent everything out. I deserved it all after all. If my hurt at Fred and I splitting could get any worse, it was when I realised I'd lost her and Chris too. I still saw Chris now and again, his family still welcomed me. That's why I had been invited, I knew that. Chris's mum and dad still liked me. I took a deep breath as she got closer. I realised she was making her way over to us. Probably to have a go at us for lowering the tone.

"Hi."

Her lips are squeezed tight together her arms folded across her chest. She looks exactly the same. I haven't seen her in eight years and she's exactly the same. My heart sinks at the thought of what I have missed. Harriet, Chris and Sophia. The memories I didn't get to share in.

"Hi Sophia, good to see you. Is the wedding planning going ok?"

I ask, not sure what to say to the girl who witnessed me smashing her big brothers heart into a million pieces. She visibly softens her stance. Arms dropping to her side. Transferring her weight from foot to foot. Her eyes dart to the ceiling and back down to me. I can see a mischievous smirk begin to creep onto her face.

"Yeah about that, it's been decided, it's not a good idea for my 'surprise' to go ahead."

Her air quotes around the word surprise, let the penny drop and I suddenly realise she means the whole previously mentioned flying incident. I look at Harriet, she looks at Sophia. Harriet suddenly snorts out a laugh, simultaneously choking on her drink. I can't hold back my laugh any longer, I collapse back into the sofa holding my stomach while the giggles pour out of me. Sophia is laughing too. I mean really laughing, she slides on to the sofa besides me. It's like the last nine years didn't happen, like we're just hanging out at the back of the school hall laughing at the supermodel wannabes, taking the piss.

After we eventually calm down, Sophia turns to me, smiling,

"I've missed this, I've missed you."

"Look Sophia, I know I can't ever…" I begin, but she cuts me off.

"Oh hush up, it was along time ago. And Fred's happy now so I'm happy. We used to be friends and not just friends because of the fact you were going out with my brother. I enjoyed your company and I want to do that again. I'm so glad you're here."

I give her hand a squeeze and smile back so she knows I feel the same. Then to lighten the mood Harriet decides to tell the 'tits story' and we're all laughing again, as Sophia confirms our suspicions, adding the fact that when they fitted her for her bridesmaid dress, she got a feel and they definitely weren't natural! After the sixth shot of God knows what, that appeared from God knows where, we are helpless again.

"I can't believe your having that bitch as a bridesmaid Soph, what were you thinking? I mean are things between Fred and her _that_ serious?"

Good old Harriet get straight to the point. I'm instantly sober and listening intently to the next words to come out of Sophia's mouth.

"Oh she wasn't first choice I can assure you. I would have much rather have had…" She glances sideways at me flushing. I feel her pain, if things were different it would have been me. "Anyway, I was one short and Chris' mother has this whole OCD symmetrical bridal party line up thing going on and as Chris has a best man and two grooms men, I needed to match. I had you Harriett and one of my close friends from college but I still had a gap. She's a filler. Nothing else." She looks at me solemnly.

I couldn't help but hope the last part referred to Fred and Louisa's relationship and not just the wedding. She still hadn't confirmed or denied how serious it was. But then it was none of my business. And I certainly wasn't going to risk this recently renewed closeness with Sophia to bombard her with questions. The subject changes to school days and more drinks are ordered. I'm feeling a little drunk now but I don't want to leave. Harriet is parading up and down mimicking how Lizzie and Louisa would strut around school. Much to Sophia's amusement, who has caught up, totally hammered.

As we get a few more disgruntled guests eyeing us, Sophia climbs onto the chair in her sky scraper heels and announces to the whole bar she is getting married here and paying a "fuck load of money for the privilege, so we can be as loud as we want."

At this point Chris appears and tries to get his bride-to-be to calm down. Just as we laugh at his attempts to get her up from the position she has found herself in, on the floor on all fours, laughing, we hear someone clear their throat and look round to see Fred and Louisa. Oh Louisa, God love her, standing there, botox brow, fake tits and everything. We three look at each other and suddenly it all becomes highly amusing all over again. Sophia is hanging on to the chair leg refusing to get up despite Chris best efforts, he is now on the floor also laughing lovingly at his fiancée whilst trying to pick her up. Harriett decides to 'help' by climbing on to Chris' back. I'm immediately taken back to the garden and Jack. And suddenly I'm laughing too.

I Swear I see Freddie begin to grin, he even steps back out of Louisa's eye line to get a better look at the three of us falling all over the place trying to help one another up. Louisa clears her throat again.

"I don't know what you all find so amusing but this is getting embarrassing, people are staring. Sophia you are a bride, you should behave appropriately."

The laughter stops.

I see Freddie flinch at the obvious call on his sisters behaviour. This seems to sober up Harriet and myself, but not Soph. Then the show gets a whole load more exciting when Sophia starts talking.

"Oh Lou you're no fun, you used to be fuddy, I mean fun, now you're no fud or funny, or what ever, where are my shoes? What were we saying? Yeah, you're so serious now, ever since …" She looks from Louisa to Freddie and bursts out laughing.

"Ever since you fell," more giggling, "shhh, you fell ... you fell ... you fell ..."

"Soph don't!" Freddie suddenly becomes serious, warning her, I wonder why?

She's struggling to stand, holding on to the chair, one finger pointing at Louisa's tits.

Fell what? I wonder. Fell over? Fell for Fred? _Fell from the cobb at Lyme Regis?_

Then my question is answered...

"fell preggers."

And then silence.

And bile rising in my throat.

And Harriet rushing me the toilet.

And vomit.

And tears.

Somewhere in the distance I think I hear Freddie calling after me.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16: Fred

"OPEN THE DOOR ANNE!"

My fists banging against the door of her hotel room. No answer. As if she would actually answer the door and let me explain? _Yeah right. _God it felt like a life time since those words left Sophia's mouth. Only my little sister could get pissed with my ex girlfriend, the one that got away, and tell her how my current 'girlfriend' and I use this term _very_ loosely, is now knocked up!

"ANNE!" I bang my fists into the wood again.

God I'm such an idiot! Fuck knows what the others must have thought. I spend eight years trying to convince my sister that I am one hundred percent over Anne Elliot only to literally chase her half way around the hotel trying to apologise for the fact I'm with some else. I just couldn't help myself. That look on her face. I'll never forget it as long as I live. All the pain, the horror of what she was hearing sinking in. I'd seen that look before. In the mirror eight years ago. I didn't want to hurt her, not like that. I had to explain, to make it right. She at least deserved that. What a mess! What a fucking mess!

"Annie, please? Please just let me explain." I desperately plead into the door.

AAGH! I pace up and down outside her room my fingers locked behind my head as I rack my brain for what to do. I don't even have her number I cant call her. I cant leave it like this.

"ANNE! PLEASE? PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR!" I return to banging my fists again the door. I blow out a long breath and rest my forehead against the cold door.

The sad pathetic truth in all this sorry mess? Its not even My baby!

I think back to a drunken stag night, not long ago, when one of my oldest mates takes me to one side and confesses that during his state of grief at the loss of his fiancée, he's taken to shagging my 'sometimes bed partner,' Louisa. The game changer being, she was pregnant! It was at that moment I finally realised there was no future for Louisa and I, not just because of the baby, but because I didn't care. I wasn't jealous. They hadn't told anyone. Him because, frankly Harry would probably kill him in Faye's memory, and her, because apparently she was struggling with the whole being a mother thing. I asked him over and over what he was going to do and he just didn't to know.

Then to top it off, it turns out Chris had heard _most _of the conversation and in his drunken ramblings, had told a very sober Sophia, her responsible big brother had got Louisa knocked up. This brings us to today and me continuing to try and explain, and God do I _need_ to explain, to the love of my life what really happened.

And then I stop. Everything stops.

I turn so my back is flat against her door and allow myself to slide down to the floor, ignoring the pitiful looks I am getting from strangers walking past having heard the commotion, and I realised that Anne Elliot is just that.

She is the love of my life. Not was. _Is_.

I realise that this whole time I was trying to show her how great my life is, how together I am, here, living it up with my mates and this gorgeous girl on my arm, and really all I've been doing is blowing my second chance and making this whole mess even worse. Because now she's behind that door having Harriet tell her I'm a shit head and don't deserve her and do you know what? Harriet never had it more right.

So I stop and I just sit.

All I can think about is every one of the good times we had together. That last time, when she broke my heart never even enters my mind. I close my eyes and I see her. Just her, smiling and laughing, like she did tonight, like she didn't have a care in the world. Like she did when we were together, I want that back. She was my whole world. I'd watch her on stage, knowing I was one the one who had willed her on to it. Hear her performing, feeling so proud I could burst. Seeing her face light up in shock at the reaction of the crowd cheering for more. She never thought she was good enough, always surprised. In the beginning she'd tell me she wasn't good enough for me. I'd just kiss her and tell her she was crazy and how I was so lucky to have her with me. I don't think she ever truly believed me.

But boy did she believe _in_ me. I'd tell her I was going to be a famous song writer one day, and she'd just smile, believing everything I said, just because she loved me. She never once told me I was chasing a dream. That I wouldn't make it. She'd spend hours with me while I tried to write lyrics. Singing the ideas I had and advising me how they could be improved, never forcing ideas on me, just gently nudging me in the right direction.

She was my whole world and I had let her walk away, not fought for her like I should, like I'd always regretted I never had. She was my somebody, my everything and here I was being given a second chance at getting her back in my life, and I was fucking blowing it, big time! I close my eyes picturing her smiling, smiling at me, that secret smile she reserved just for me. Us laying in the dark, talking for hours about what our future held. Where we would live, what we'd name our kids. How we were forever.

I never ever regretted our time together, even if it ended with my heart broken. I appreciated every minute I had her with me, in my life, loving me. The feeling of holding her close made up for everything. I wouldn't change a single thing. The only regret I have, was giving her up. I stare at the pattern of the carpet expecting answers. I should have tried harder. I run my hands over my face and am surprised to find them wet. I hadn't even realised I was crying. Shit, when was the last time I cried? _Oh yeah, now I remember_. I pull out my phone searching the photos. I know its here, I never deleted it. And now I needed it. Suddenly my breath catches in my throat as her smiling face fills the screen.

I took it the moment she had said yes. Knowing I would want to show the grand kids one day. I have one arm stretched out holding the phone and the other loosely around her shoulders. She's gazing up at me, a big wide grin on her face like I'm fucking God. I'm looking down at her still shocked that she could want me as her husband.

I miss that, I miss us, I miss her.

The next thing I know, someone is opening the door. I pocket the phone, looking up and all I can see is a mass of brown wavy hair and big brown eyes, even more wide and beautiful then normal, due to her crying. Crying - yeah that would be the shit heads fault.

I begin to get up.

"Annie, listen I think I should ..."

But she cuts me off. A finger up to her mouth. She sits down on the floor next to me, she rests her head on my shoulder and sniffles and I never wanted anything as much as her right then and there, just to hold her and tell her everything is going to be all right. Like I did so many nights when she was about to go on stage.

You're my somebody, my everything.

But none of that will do now. So we just sit. As the seconds tick by, I hear her stop sniffling and she shrugs, apparently pulling herself together. She stands.

"Do you know what Fred? It's your life, and if _she _makes you happy, then I hope you are very happy together, because me, I'm so messed up right now. I can't handle all ... _this._" She waves her hands around between us_. _"I'm leaving after the wedding, and I doubt our paths will ever cross, so have a nice life, and just so you know, I'm proud of you and what you have accomplished, you'll make an amazing dad."

Why do I get the feeling this is goodbye forever this time? I stare open mouthed like she just dumped me all over again. This time however I'm not heart broken. I'm fucking furious. I watch her walk back into her room, she looks up and I hear her say,

"hi James."

As soon as the door closes, James is at my side.

"Jesus, Fred this is all my fault! I didn't know things were back on with you and Anne, you should have said. Listen, me and Lou, we've been doing a lot of talking lately and I want you to know ..."

"Leave it Benwick. I really don't want to know right now. Me and Anne aren't together, she doesn't give a shit about me. There's nothing there. Not now. Not ever."

I get up and go back to the bar, to get seriously pissed.


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17: Anne

As I hug Harriet goodbye promising to do more than write this time, I glance over towards the plane. Louisa left during the wedding reception, Mary and Charlie have called at some of his relatives, the Hayters, who have a farm near here, so its just me on the plane. Me ... and Freddie.

A full hour of avoidance, heavy silence and nothing to get through. Then a huge wave of relief hits me in the shape of James Benwick. He comes shuffling up nervously to me ask if he can hitch a ride home. _Thank God._

We climb aboard, I see Freddie sat at the back staring out of the window. He hasn't spoken to me since the corridor incident. Then again I had been avoiding him like the plague. I chose instead to spend the time getting reacquainted with Harriett, Chris and Soph. Sophia said he'd had a bit a skin full at the wedding, and she had sent him off to bed with a flee in his ear. I'm thinking he and Louisa had some sort of row, as they never spoke at all at the reception and she left without him.

I purposely find a seat near the front of the cabin. Avoiding the white elephant sat between us. James comes and joins me, I smile at the chance of a bit of distraction, its only a forty five minute flight back to London, so this wont be too bad. _Yeah right!_

Two minutes in and James is balling his eyes out telling me the 101 things he loved about Faye, how the wedding brought it all back, the future they were going to have together. Then he starts telling me all about the mistakes he's made and how others shouldn't have to cover up for him, especially if it means their lives are ruined too. How he feels so bad for Fred. That he needs to face his fears and stop letting people down. I'm not really sure what he's on about. I'm trying to piece together what he's trying to say, when Freddie comes bounding towards us and politely tells James to pull himself together and shut up before he drops everyone in the shit._ What the hell?_

I'm looking at the exchange between Freddie and James, and how quickly he shuts up, and I'm starting to see this whole – 'knockingLouisaup'- in a whole new light. _Maybe, just maybe..._

We don't converse for the short remainder of the flight. Once we land, Freddie pulls me on one side, and I'm terrified at what he's going to say, and even more terrified at what I might say back.

"Listen Anne ..." I swallow past the lump in my throat. I'm back to Anne. "I just wanted to say thank you. James sometimes has these melt downs and needs someone just to listen. He's a good bloke really. He just misses Faye. He loved her so much. Sometimes he just lets it all get on top of him." He looks over at James, and back to me. That's it? He's thanking me for listening to his mate! _Seriously?_

"Yeah so I gathered. It's no trouble honestly, I always liked James. And Faye. It's was horrific what happened to her, to him. Its so un fair. But he's young, I hope one day he's able to get over blaming himself and move on with his life like I'm sure Faye would have wanted him to. Who knows he might meet someone else, fall in love again and have a family." I stare straight at Fred never dropping my gaze. "Or, he may just decide that alone is best and that's ok too. Some people are meant to be alone."

He looks at me opens his mouth as if he is going to say something, and then closes it again. I watch him fiddling with the zip on his bag. What is he waiting for? Say something! This was so unlike us. There was a time we couldn't stay silent if our lives depended on it. We never stopped talking to one another, deep into the night sometimes. He looks away and back at me as if torn between something. Then he moves a fraction closer. I hold my breath as he reaches forward and picks at a bit of fluff on my top. His hand hovers for a second longer than necessary, I look up at his gorgeous face and find those blue eyes locked onto mine. The airport noise disappears. All I can hear is my heart beat quickening by the second. He opens his mouth again, and closes it again. Then James bursts between us.

"Thanks for the ride Anne and the chat. I know what I need to do now." He hugs me, I'm still not sure what for. "Come on then Fred lets get back."

Fred nods in my direction without making eye contact and I watch them walk away.

They turn on their heels and leave without a look back.

What was he going to say? I know he was trying to say something. Men! Feeling a bit forlorn, I stand and wait for a taxi. Baseball cap and sunglasses along with a hoodie help me blend in. The last thing I feel like right now is getting papped. As I struggle to release my ipod earphones from their tangled state, I accidentally bump into the person stood next to me, I look up only to lock eyes with a very familiar face.

"Richard?"

"Er yes, have we met?" He looks at me quizzically.

Richard Elliot. I hadn't seen him since we were kids, wow! He was all grown up! Tall, lean, with white blonde hair and cool ice blue expressionless eyes. His thin lips curl

and he adjusts his skinny black tie.

I lower my sunglasses, and whisper "its me Anne, your dad's cousins cousin's -or some thing's- daughter."

Suddenly recognition hits and he pulls me into a hug.

"Anne, Jesus I haven't seen you since we were what, 12, 13?"

"Yeah it was just after mum ..." I trail off still unable to say those words.

"Shit, yeah, that was stupid of me. So how's your dad , Mary and Liz?"

I raise one eyebrow at him. He hits his forehead with his palm,

"shit shit shit, what a stupid thing to say. I've seen the news I know _how _it all is."

"Yeah not too good in the old Elliot house at the moment."

I answer, and I cant help grinning at his obvious remorse.

"Its ok Richard, honestly, so how have you been?"

We find a café and chat for a good while and I discover my child hood friend/distant relation is living it up, 'famous for being famous.' Richard's dad, another famous Elliot, is a big shot in the television world. Richard has pretty much coasted along in life without an actual penny to his name, but still living like a celebrity. We laugh at old times when we were kids. He reaches across the table taking my hand in his.

"Oh Anne, I'm so sorry. I cant believe you're going through all of this and alone. If you need me you know where I am. I always liked you. Isn't there anyone in the business you could turn to?"

"I have my own friends thanks Richard. Real friends. I refuse to hang around with people I don't know nor intend to, just because people think I should. Being in the same business does not make them good company. Good company to me, are those who are honest and there for you through thick and thin always. You don't need to call them, they call you."

"Ah well Anne that is not good company. That is the best."

I smile at his corny answer, a little irritated that he obviously isn't getting the point, but comforted that he's with me, now, when I do need someone.

Just as he's leaving I hug him goodbye and hear the all too familiar sound of a camera being clicked. I turn round just in time to see a paparazzi running off. Great!

"Don't worry about it, they're obviously only here because of me."

Richard jokes and I try to smile.

"So if you've nothing on later this week, I'd love to have coffee sometime and really catch up?"

I'm about to say no, when I change my mind. New start and all that.

"Actually Richard, I would love that."

When I finally get home I pour myself a large glass of wine and check my voice mail and emails. I find I one of both from Freddie, saying he wants to talk.

Yeah, that's so not happening. Time to shut that door and finally move on.

But as I shut my eyes, all I see is him. _Pathetic._


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

I wake up the next morning to my mobile vibrating off the night stand, I groggily answer before checking the caller display.

"lo" I'm yawning not fully awake, struggling to locate my glasses with my free hand.

"Anne?"

Shit! Now I'm awake!

"Fred? How did you get this number?"

I move over to the mirror pulling a face at my reflection. Then remember he can't actually see me. Idiot!

"Erm ... Well ... I kind of begged Soph."

"Sophia gave you my number?" _What the hell Soph?_

Silence. "Fred?"

"No. she wouldn't give it up. So I had to ask Chris." _Great. _"The point is Anne, I needed to talk to you. I tried your landline first, I left you a message, and I sent you an email. Before you ask I got the address from your agent. The point is ..."

Secretly impressed at the distance he'd gone just to get in touch with me, I realise this has to stop. He's with Louisa now, they're having a baby. What the hell was he expecting? An affair, a fling? I could never do that. Even to Louisa. I'm not going to be a dirty secret, a bit on the side. I looked again in the mirror pulling myself up to my full five foot three height pushing my shoulders back. No. I was a strong single woman well able of taking care of myself. Hadn't I done just that for the past eight years? So I take a deep breath and interrupt him before this gets any further.

" Fred, listen I think we said all we had to say at the hotel ... at least I did."

I knew I was being cold but I didn't want to get into this, we weren't together. He could do whatever with whoever he chose. _Even if it was fake tits Louisa!_

"Anne, this isn't about ... that. It's about work."

Oh Crap!

Not about that? About work? Humiliation once again. I sit back down on the bed, a chill comes over me and I pull the duvet around my shoulders. I swallow.

"Work?"

"I have a project I think you might be perfect for. Could you … can you come by the company? Sometime? Please?"

And I'm a seventeen year old statue all over again. I can't believe he can still floor me. Come to the company. TMR. The company he works for. A project? A song? He has a song he thinks I'll be perfect for. This can't be happening. Its ok. I'll just politely refuse like I always have done in the past. I didn't need his help. Just say no.

"Annie? Please?" His voice so soft. My heart thaws at that sound.

Just say no.

"Yeah ... Ok ... sure, when? What time?" _Damn it!_

I can almost hear him smile at the phone. I imagine him in his big office. Stood by a window no doubt looking out at the city. All those superstars at his beck and call and he picks end of the road Anne Elliot. What if I ruin his song? What if I make him a laughing stock too? God, did I just make a huge mistake? I find myself pacing.

"That's ... that's great Anne thanks. I'm sure you won't regret it. How does the 25th grab you? About two-ish? Do you know where it is?"

"Yeah I know where it is. I'll see you then." I stop and take a breath in. "And Fred…"

"Yes?"

"Thanks."

He sighs into the phone. "You're welcome Anni … Anne."

As soon as I press end call, I know I've made a mistake.

Agreeing to meet him, to working with him, am I trying to torture myself? I'd put it off for so long at the expense of everything I'd worked for, for eight years and now in eight minutes I'd messed it all up! This wasn't moving forwards. _He'd called me Annie!_

I turn on the TV, to try and forget about my shitty life for five seconds, when, I'm presented with my picture plastered all over the screen. I drop onto the sofa. I'm hugging Richard, I'm looking into Richards eyes, he's holding my hand – I don't even remember that! How…? _Fucking_ _Paparazzi_. Before I can think, my mobile rings again. I put it on speaker phone as I stumble around the kitchen, keeping my eyes on the screen while looking unsuccessfully for something to eat for breakfast, ending up with just an apple. Before collapsing back onto the sofa.

"Anne. Its Viv, are you there? It sounds echoey?"

Vivien Russell, once favourite teacher, now trusted advisor, and more recently due to fathers inexcusable behaviour, my new manager.

"Yeah Viv, you're on speaker."

"I've just seen the pictures on the news, and I have to say, well done you!" She gushes.

"Er what now?"

"This is just what you needed, get you back in the public eye for a good reason, dating Richard Elliot of all people. This should really work for us!"

I inwardly wince at the expression 'us', that's how it started with dad.

"What do you mean Viv? I hate to burst your bubble but we're not really seeing each other, he's a distant relation, we bumped into each other end of story."

"No no no Anne, _beginning_ of story. I've already spoken to him, he's all on board."

"All on board with what?" I'm really not liking where this is going.

"On board with the idea of the public_ thinking _you are dating!"

"YOU HAVE GOT BE KIDDING ME!"

I'm now shouting down the phone at my teacher.

"Look Anne calm down. This is a great solution on all sides. Richard says his family want him to settle down, you're tired of people asking you why you haven't, this works for everyone, and I've already had a call from TMR wanting to talk today."

"Yes I know."

"How do you know?"

"Fred Wentworth. From school, you remember? He writes for them, and he rang earlier and mentioned something along those lines."

She doesn't answer, I know what she thinking, it sixth form all over again, but its different now, he's with Louisa. Right?

But was he?

They didn't seem together at the wedding, and if they were having a baby together, surely they should _seem_ together? And there was all that stuff with James on the plane. Making a mental note to try and email James for more info, I make my excuses and hang up on miss Russell. I can't be doing with that right now. Dating Richard, is she for real? He's like related to me, eugh! How can incest be good publicity? I laugh at my own ignorance, he was about as far removed as possible, he was related by name and not much else.

A week later I'm spending far too long picking out clothes and doing my hair and make up, so to make myself appear _casual_ for my big meeting with Freddie. Well Freddie, Viv, Richard and the producers at TMR. Finally pleased with my reflection, I make my way over to TMR.

Time to see what this 'project' entails.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

I take a deep breath as I climb out of the taxi looking up at the tall building in front of me. I take in all the glass, wondering which window Fred spent his days gazing out of. A sudden panic that he could be watching right now forces me to plough ahead through the large revolving door. As I walk through the lobby doors, my heels traitorously announcing my arrival with their clacking on the tiled floor, I find Freddie waiting for me.

God he's so gorgeous. How I'm going to sit in a meeting without staring, I don't know. He stands about a foot above me. So much more a man than the boy I fell in love with and yet as I take in those big blue eyes and sweet smile I instantly fall In love with him all over again, or should I say more. As I never stopped. Not really. Not ever. My eyes leave his face and take in his broad shoulders and chest. He obviously works out, much more than he did when we were together but then he never left my side more than he had to, so there wasn't much time! He has on a chunky cream jumper the sleeves rolled up to his elbows showing off his tanned forearms. His dark blue jeans fit him perfectly and he has on tan boots. I lick my dry lips and swallow.

"Hi, Anne I'm so glad you came. Listen I'm just saying goodbye to ..."

He's cut off by an ecstatic Sophia coming rushing out of the ladies.

"ANNE!"

She grabs me pulling me into a warm hug. She smells like vanilla. A cream trouser suit over a pale blue halter top showing off her newly acquired honeymoon sun kissed skin. They only managed a week away due to all Chris' work commitments but it seems to have done them no harm. I beam at her, married life is definitely suiting her. She seems older, more mature. She looks great. Yeah, I'm insanely jealous.

I think about the two of them so causal and polished at the same time and feel my stomach drop. Even with all my fame, hair dressers, make up artists and stylists I'd never managed that poised put together look. That they all seemed to carry off so naturally. Even when I thought I looked nice, I'd catch someone whispering behind my back and I'd know they were talking about me, laughing at me. I loved the clothes the shoes, any little girl likes to play dress up. But in all honesty I'd so much rather be at home in a baggy sweatshirt, my favourite shorts and slippers. Clean faced and glasses on. I squint now at the familiar dryness in my eyes from wearing contacts all the time. I had on a plain black shift dress that fell just above my knee and back court shoes. I was going for casual business and probably looked more like a nineties secretary.

Why was this so hard? I never cared about what I wore when I was with Freddie, probably because I knew he didn't either. He used to love me best when I was wearing one of his t shirts and not much else. I felt myself blush at the memory.

"Hi Soph, how's married life? How was the honeymoon?"

"Oh enough about me, listen we need to talk."

She pulls me off to one side while I turn apologetically back to Freddie, who just shrugs, hands in pocket and pulls an, 'I had to live with her' face.

"Listen, the night at the hotel, the whole Louisa being preggers thing, well I, or Chris, got it wrong."

"Wrong? Wait, what? She's not pregnant?"

I'm, not fully comprehending what I'm hearing.

"No she's definitely up the spout, but the father, its not Freddie. Thank God! It's James. James Benwick! Can you believe this? Oh my God! Apparently, he had this whole 'guilty about his dead fiancée, Harry will kill him if he finds out thing' going on, and didn't want anyone to know. But since then they've been spending more and more time together, you know baby stuff and the like, they've fallen, I mean proper fallen for each other. He's broke the news to Harry, and she's pulled her shit together, and now they're keeping the baby and are engaged!"

I need to sit down, like now, like I feel my legs about to give way at any second. I stumble to a chair and sit, Sophia follows looking at me worryingly. I risk a glance at Freddie he has his back to us, thank God.

It's not his baby. He's not with Louisa.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah its just ... that's a lot of stuff to have happened in a week! Fred? Why did he..?"

"Well apparently its been going on for more than a week, they've been messing around behind Fred's back for I don't know how long. He had no idea of course. In fact when I confronted him about it he made out he'd known all along it wasn't his baby and that he was happy for them. But …" She looks at me. "Why did he what?"

I stand again. My hands on my hips pacing. Pacing is my process. My way of working things out. Her words wash back over me. _Known all along … happy for them … _he let me think it was his! I can't believe he would do that. Why did he do that?

"Why did Fred tell everyone it was his, when it wasn't? Why did they let him? And just why?" Then I realise, he never actually did. He never said it was his baby.

"I can't answer that chick, but I think maybe that was what he was trying to tell you a the hotel, you know that day you found out. I just thought you should know, at least before Freddie tried to make any kind of deal with you. I didn't want you turning down a massive career opportunity because of you thinking my brother's an arse."

He was trying to tell me. That's why he was so adamant he wanted to explain. He was trying to tell me the baby wasn't his. They weren't together. _Oh Freddie._

I chuckle to myself, "I could never think that."

And now I knew my suspicions had been right. "Thanks for this Soph."

As Sophia leaves. We make my way over to the lifts. Inside we're silent. Only the cheesy music filling the air. The loud beating of my heart is pounding in my ears, surely he must be able to hear it! I lower my eyes concentrating on the floor. My hands behind my back clutching on to the chrome hand rail running along the mahogany panelled wall. Clinging to courage I didn't know I had, I speak.

"So?" I elongate the vowel, like I did when we first chatted, all those years ago.

"So?" I can see him trying not to smile, he's obviously thinking the exact same thing.

"So, Louisa and James Benwick? I did not see that one coming!" I shake my head, waiting for his reaction.

"No? They just seemed to come together, _apparently_. Apparently, some miss guided individuals actually thought Louisa and I were together. That I was the father."

I can tell he's enjoying this, and there's so much of me wanting to give him some wise crack answer back, but then he shrugs and looks serious. I get the feeling he's not finished, so I stay quiet.

He continues "I think they'll be happy, don't you? I mean they have no one at home to advise or mess things up for them."

I immediately look up at him, my cheeks burning. I can tell he regrets what he said, but so he should, that was a low blow.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean that, I just meant … I don't know what I meant."

I catch his eye and keep his gaze this time, willing him to keep talking, and it works.

"James loved Faye, I mean really loved her, like I ... and they waited ... too long it

would seem. And now ... Louisa's a great girl, but I'm not sure she's enough to replace Faye. I mean Faye was far more superior and if he truly loved her like I thought ... like I … he can't ... a man does not forget a love like that, to such a woman. He should not, he ought not. He does not."

Did he? Is he trying to say? NO! He's not trying to tell me he still ..?

We arrive at our floor and the door 'pings' open, before I can get through the door, he puts his strong arm across preventing my leaving, he lowers his face to mine, blue eyes meeting brown, his minty breath on my face, his voice barely a whisper.

"Annie, I have never ..."


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

"Babe! I have been looking for you everywhere."

I stand there open mouthed looking between Freddie, wanting him so badly to finish that sentence, and glaring at Richard - who has not only interrupted possibly the most crucial conversation in my life so far - but also called me babe. Only Freddie called me babe, and I could see the hurt written all over his face. Good old Viv's plan had worked all right. Freddie believed Richard and I were a couple.

I wanted to reach out to Freddie so much and tell him Richard was nothing to me. I was his babe, his Annie. I desperately tried to convey my thoughts to him silently through my gaze but his eyes had already left mine he was staring at Richard hard faced. Like he did when he wanted to hit something rather than talk. I'd always been able to get him to come round in the past, but now I wasn't so sure it was a good idea to attempt it. Trying to defuse the situation, I put my hand gently on Freddie's arm, opened my mouth and prayed the words would leave my mouth.

"We're going to be late, lets go in."

Freddie's eyes shoot back to mine. He raises an eyebrow, as if asking me if I really want to go in and leave this as it is. I quickly shrug my shoulders as if answering - what else can I do?

He slowly lowers his arm all the while keeping his eyes on me, I walk out of the lift and into the meeting, wishing Richard had just been five minutes later.

The meeting had been a success, career wise. I was now back on track. Freddie had a song he'd had suspiciously been saving for a while, that was _apparently_ waiting for the right voice and _apparently_ that voice was mine. I looked down at the note pad thrust in front of me by the producer. The sight of Freddie's hand writing made me shudder. I traced each letter of the title smiling to myself. An assistant flicked a remote in the direction of a mp3 player and beautiful music filled the conference room. I closed my eyes hearing myself singing the words Freddie had wrote and knew it was right. He knew my voice better than anyone and he'd written lyrics and a melody that matched it perfectly. I couldn't wait to sing it. I opened my eyes and they immediately settled on Freddie. He had his eyes shut too his chin resting on steepled fingers. I secretly hoped he was thinking of me too.

The dotted lines were signed and a schedule set up for me to come in and record next week. There was even talk of a tour. I tried to keep my eyes away from him, but it was impossible, every time I looked into those blue eyes they seemed to get more distant by the second. He of course was avoiding me at all costs. What is it with us two? Now I find out he's actually unattached and he thinks I'm with Richard. Not that I'd stand a chance, I can see the way he's looking at me, there's no warmth, no affection. I killed that long ago. Long before Richard. Eight years ago to be precise.

No. I had to put that, put us, behind me and try my best to do the impossible and move on. I looked at Richard, he gives me one of his smiles and takes my hand in his. His hand was cold, in fact the more I thought about it, everything about him was cold. Something just wasn't right, he wasn't right. _He wasn't him_. A sudden movement out of the corner of my eye makes me turn my attention away from Richard. Freddie has jumped up gathered his things and explains to everyone he has another meeting to attend. He turns back to me.

"As I'm obviously no longer need here, I thought I'd get off."

He holds my gaze as if daring me to contradict him, only breaking to follow my hand as Richard pulls it into his lap. His eyes then return to mine searching. I make the mistake of breaking his gaze to look down at Richard's hand, long enough for Freddie to walk out the door. Slamming it behind him.

The producers make excuses for him claiming he has been over worked recently. But I know it was because of me. From the way Miss Russell is smiling at Richard I think she knows too. The management is very pleased with the whole Anne/Richard thing, much to my dismay. Already planning surprise scenarios we could be 'caught' by the photographers in. All I can think about if Freddie and how I didn't get the chance to explain.

An hour later and I had to excuse myself too. I can't stand the way Richard and Miss Russell are loving every minute of this 'publicity stunt.' I find myself back in the Lobby not even remembering my journey from the conference room to here. My mind completely full of thoughts of Freddie. I have to wait for Richard, who has decided to stay and go into more detail with my producers about our _relationship. _I notice a poster on the wall advertising the TMR Christmas party. As I read, I feel a warmth in the small of my back and I shiver at the deja-vu. Freddie.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you, I was just trying to get a better view of the poster" he smirks, obviously enjoying reminiscing in our history. He seems to have calmed down and the warmth has returned to his eyes. _My_ Freddie is back.

"So do you think you might be going to this?" I ask, trying to seem nonchalant.

"Yeah its usually a good night, the company goes all out, caterers, live band ... Mistletoe ..."

I look at the smirk on his face, is he, _flirting_ with me?

"Listen if you're waiting for a taxi, I can give you a lift, I have a car?"

Before I can think straight, I find myself nodding, "Thanks, that would be ..."

"Babe I'm here, I'm sorry that took so long."

Richard kisses my forehead and puts an arm around my waist. I break out of his hold to look back at Freddie who's scowling at his feet. His hands clenching into fists.

"Thanks Fred, but I'm meeting Harriet, Richard's dropping me off. So if I don't run in to you next week, I guess I'll see you at the Christmas Party?"

He nods and storms off. Angry Fred is back. Whoa! Is he _jealous?_

Richard interrupts my reverie, pulling me to his side as we make our way outside. Then upon realising there are no awaiting cameras, he immediately drops my arm.

"So are you and this Wentworth bloke shagging or what?" Now his voice sounds cold.

"What! No! What would make you say that?"

He shrugs "He has the whole 'don't touch, she's mine' thing going on, I just wondered if that's why. Its ok, I just thought I should know. The press and stuff."

I shake my head, unable to speak, _'don't touch, she's mine', really?_

I can't talk the rest of the way to Harriet's. When I finally arrive at her flat I'm a bundle of emotions. Anger, disappointment. And something else - hope?

"At last! Are you ready to go?"

Harriet opens the door, shutting it behind her.

"Yeah I guess." She frowns at me. "Yes. I mean yes. I can't wait!"

"Anne Elliot I've known you all my life, you look like that time at nursery when that Alicia chick stole your doll and you were too scared to ask for it back."

I laugh at this and give her a swift hug.

"You're right I can keep nothing from you it seems. I need help. I've talked myself into going to this big Christmas party the Record Company is throwing and I need to look gorgeous. There are going to be _people _there I need to look gorgeous for."

"Hmm people like, gorgeous ex boyfriends people?" She winks at me.

I laugh uncomfortably_, how does she know everything?_

"Something like that."

Four hours and countless shops later, and I'm stood in a fancy underwear boutique being made to spend a load of my hard earned cash on some lacy matching set that I _must_ have, like the new shoes, dress and hand bag I _must _have. I have also _had_ to book my hair, nails, make up and waxing! I close my eyes picturing Fred in his suit looking dashing, asking me to dance, holding me … and I realise its all worth it.

He's worth it.


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21: Fred

I step out of the limo, and into a sea of camera flashes, until they realise I am not a 'celebrity' and pull away. Sometimes I really love my job. I get to be in show business and go to things like this, all the while being an insignificant writer that no one ever recognises, because no one knows who I am!

As I wait in the security line ready to present my invitation and surrender all electronic devices, my thoughts stray to Annie.

Will she be here? Did she mean what she said about coming tonight? I hadn't seen her in weeks, not since the meeting and that wanker Elliot with his hands all over her. I still don't know how I kept my cool so long. The minute he took her small hand in his long bony fingers I wanted to rip them from his hand. I'd had to endure a lecture off Mike the producer that afternoon - 'what had gotten in to me? New client, fantastic opportunity etc etc.' Annie wasn't an opportunity, something to exploit. Yet Elliot seemed to be all in favour of their relationship being exactly that.

I hadn't _seen _her face to face, but I had seen enough of the happy couple to last me a lifetime. I just couldn't seem to help myself. I'd spent _too_ many hours alone analysing her every feature on every photo of them together, for any kind of clue. That this was all nothing, she couldn't really be in to him. Could she?

Without realising it, I'm inside, glass of champagne in my hand. I look around. Wow! As always, this place takes my breath away. The company outdid itself at these events.

I step through the door, and it's like I've stepped through the wardrobe straight into 'Narnia'. The blue velvet carpet runs from the doors to the light up dance floor. Silver and white iridescent snowflakes float in the air above. The whole room seems to glow, soft white led Christmas lights hanging from every surface. The open bar, is a long white marble counter that seems to flow into the buffet table that sits beside. The stage is set for the live band, that too seemingly covered with glitter. Even the floor itself seems to be sparkling. Each of the four corners of the dance floor is adorned with a huge white Christmas tree. The tables are all white crisp table cloths and silver candelabras. Mistletoe strategically placed throughout the room. There's even talk of a hot tub out back! It's all so magical and wonderful, and yet something is missing.

I look through the fog of faces of VIPs and Celebrities, for her. Then, just like a princess in a fairy tale, I see her descending the stair case. God she is stunning. I take a moment and just drink her in. The worries seem to have left her for the evening. Her gorgeous olive skin just seems to shimmer in the twinkle of the fairy lights, beautiful big brown eyes sparkling as she takes in all the surroundings, her thick glossy chocolate brown hair twisted up into some kind of complicated style at the back of her head. Little bits coming naturally undone and falling onto her neck. I reach out to put them behind her ear, before realising my error. I'm a fifty feet away at the other side of the room, and she is arm in arm with Elliot. His eyes travelling up and down her greedily, making me clench my fists, nearly shattering the champagne flute I hold in my hand. I drain it of its contents and walk towards them, meaning to go past, when…

"Fred!"

She's broken away from his grip and is standing in front of me and now I can't move, seriously, did she still have this effect on me after all this time? She's wearing a beautiful aqua blue floor length dress, that seems to skim her every curve. It ties at the base of her neck and when she turns, to put down her drink I take in a breath at the sight of her beautiful back. The dress so simple from the front is low cut down to the bottom of her spine, not low enough to show the dimples I know she has. I smile to myself remembering them. She looks so gorgeous and comfortable all at once. Even though I know deep down she'd rather be slobbing around in a hoodie and slippers instead of the four inch heels she's trying to pull off. She does by the way, very well. They make her the same height as my nose. I prefer her in flats too. I liked being able to pull her against me and have her head fit under my chin. I used to torment her by resting my elbow on her shoulder. She hated that. I chuckle.

"Fred?" She repeats.

"Anne."

"I'm so glad to see you here Freddie. You look..." She takes in my suit and blushes. "...well."

I smile at her use of my nick name and feel myself blushing. Now what? Small talk? Why is this so difficult? When we were together she was my soul mate and my best friend. The one person I could tell anything to, and now I'm struggling for a conversation starter!

"Yeah I'm well thanks. How about you, are you well? What about your family? By family, I mean Mary, Charlie and the boys?" Not wanting to bring her father up.

"They're great. I believe. I haven't really seen them since the wedding, but with the tour starting soon, they said they might even be able to come up and see it sometime."

She lowers her head looking away disappointed. Damn Mary and her jealousness! Not wanting to support your sister who you know struggles every time she gets on stage. I look over to Elliot who seems pre occupied with trying to catch the eye of a young actress. How he can even see anyone else in the is room when she's here, is beyond me. He has her on his arm and he's let her come to me. Doesn't he even know how much this gorgeous gem is worth? I did. I'd never forget. If I was him I would never let her go.

Then I remember. I was him, and that's exactly what I did. I've never got over the fact I never fought for us. I'd let Soph and Chris pull me away, when I should have stood my ground, made her see how right we were. I start to silently wonder if he makes her forget her fear now when she walks on stage. Is it him she thinks of now? She follows my gaze to him and then back to me, puzzled. I realise I've been gawping at her, mouth open, for God knows how long. Seconds, minutes. Too long anyway.

"That's great, I'm glad, so are you well?"

Idiot Fred! You just asked that, great now what she going to think of you? But she just smiles, that full on smile, that melts my heart and for some reason I don't feel stupid at all. I feel like the luckiest bloke on the planet, because _I_ made her smile. God I'm pathetic, its a fucking good job the lads can't hear my thoughts, I'm a wreck.

I look round the room and make some comment about the decorations, asking her what she thinks, it being her first TMR Christmas Event. Her face lights up and breaks into a wide grin.

"It's amazing isn't it? I can't believe they would do all this for one night." Her eyes scan the room and then land back on me. "I'm really glad I came."

"Me too." I tell her. It's the truth. "You look beautiful. By the way."

She lifts her head blushing and gives me that secret smile, my smile. Something inside me heats up. Then she looks around at some of the other girls including Elliot's actress friend, and back down at herself her eyes filled with sadness and insecurities. I reach out and pull her chin gently back towards me. She audibly gasps.

"Don't… Annie. Don't do that."

"Don't do what?" Her voice trembles, her chin still in my grasp.

"You know what. I know what you're thinking. And just don't. Ok? You're the most beautiful woman in this room. You should hold your head up high, not retreat to the shadows."

She lifts her hand to the one of mine that holds her chin and brings it to her side still holding my fingers in hers. And I feel it. That spark we had. It's still there.

But before we can explore it any further, that Elliot wanker comes up to her, already pissed, and pulls her into a dance, even thought there's no music. People are looking. Anne will hate that. What a Dick? Ha, _Dick_, Richard- Dick, I chuckle at my own joke.

Then the laugh dies in my throat and I stop breathing, the whole room stops.

He's tipping her backwards, and as if in slow motion, his mouth is on hers. I don't know how, but I'm getting out of there as fast as my legs can carry me, then I hear her calling me, I turn, her eyes filled with unshed tears, searching mine.

"Freddie don't go … listen, _that_- its not … its just ... the party's just getting started ..."

"I need to go." I know she's upset, but I'm so mad right now I don't care. It's over.

"But the band's just starting to play and there'll be dancing, isn't that worth staying for?"

"No. There's nothing worth me staying for" and I leave.


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22: Anne

I screw up my face at the unbelievably bright light soaring in through the chink in my bedroom curtains, my head is banging, literally banging. 'BANG BANG BANG!' No wait, that's not in my head, that's the door! Oh God, please make it stop. I attempt to sit up, but its proving too much of a struggle right now, to even lift my head from the pillow. My eyes are stinging from the contacts I'd failed to remove. I scrape them out of my eyes blinking. My pillow's covered in black smudges, tell-tale signs I didn't bother taking my make up off when I came in, _crawled in _would be more accurate. To be completely honest I'm not sure how I got in! This was not a good start to the day.

BANG! BANG! "ANNE! YOU IN THERE?"

I slide my legs out of bed, not sure if I can actually stand. Damn champagne. Trying to pull my thoughts together, I recognise the voice, but can't quite place it right now. Who am I kidding? I can't place anything right now. I grab my glasses off the night stand and stumble to the door. Speaking through the intercom, my voice gravely.

"Who is it?" I groan.

"Anne open the door! I need to talk to you, NOW!"

Harriet? What is up with Harriet?

"Okay okay, just stop shouting."

I open the door and my best friend bounds in, followed by a hunky bloke, I seem to have a dim recollection of meeting at the Crofts wedding. I realise I'm stood, hung over, panda eyes. Then I see him quickly glance at my legs and back up to my face. I look down and realise I'm wearing nothing but one of Freddie's old t-shirts, I some how managed to not give back. I pull at the hem trying to cover my legs. Crap! I don't even remember putting this on, I must have felt _really_ bad last night. And suddenly it all comes flooding back in one long miserable memory. Last night. Richard. The kiss. _Shit Freddie!_

"Wait Hari, this is really not a good time, there's kind of something I need to sort out."

I frantically begin searching for my phone.

"Oh you mean like the tiny fact you're ENGAGED! And me, your supposedly best friend knows nothing about it! I mean I had to find out from the Sunday newspaper! Thanks a lot Anne!"

I ignore her wrath and grab the paper she's waving at me, out of her hands.

There, splattered across the front page, is a picture of me and Richard kissing on the dance floor and the headline:

"**_Anne Elliot, keeping her name!"_**

The article goes on to say a supposed _source_, has me and Richard all over each other most of the night and him, at one point slipping a diamond engagement ring onto my finger.

"WHAT THE FUCK? I mean ... No! … WHAT THE FUCK? Where? Who? This is all LIES. I mean the newspapers have got it wrong before but this ..."

I take to pacing across the room, being closely watched by Harriet and hunky bloke.

"You mean, you're not engaged to Richard Elliot?" She quietly asks.

"NO! No! A thousand times no! He kissed me. Once. I don't know what happened to him after that, I ran out after ..."

I shut up, not wanting to complicate things further by bringing up Freddie.

Shit, this, this is in the papers.

Freddie will have seen this.

Freddie will think its true!

Suddenly I need to speak to him, like now. I look round wildly, not knowing what to do first.

"Anne just sit please, please Anne. I need to talk to you."

I see the concern on her face and immediately sit.

"This is Adam Rooke, the paramedic I've been seeing, he was at the wedding, I don't know if you remember?"

She gestures to Adam. I nod, not knowing where this is leading.

"The thing is, Adam, he's friends with a doctor, who turns out- is mates with Richard. And the thing is, Richard told this Doctor, who has let slip to Adam, some ... _stuff_"

"_STUFF? _What kind of stuff?"

I'm getting impatient now, I mean for Gods sake Harriet get to the point. Adam clears his throat and takes Harriet's hand in his, encouraging her to go on.

"Stuff like how, he - Richard, was going to get his big break by screwing an Elliot and selling the story... _and the photos_." The words tumbling out of my best friends mouth in one long breath.

I feel sick, all the champagne from last night is in my mouth, I get to the toilet just in time. Harriet's behind me holding back my hair. After I have emptied my stomach contents she leads me back to the lounge. She looks as bad I imagine I do right now.

"I'm so sorry Anne, I thought he meant Lizzie, and well, she's always so horrid to you, I just thought sod her, she deserves it! I had no idea he meant you."

She's crying now, so I tell her its okay, that I'll be okay. I'm not into Richard and I will never EVER sleep with him. Both Harriet and Adam visibly relax.

"We were so scared, after last night, the papers."

"No, we were never even really going out, it was all Viv's idea ..." I trail off.

Was it though? Or was this the plan all along?

I go back to pacing the floor, trying to make sense of all this information in my already pounding head. Then everything suddenly makes sense, the photographer waiting for me at the airport, Richard just happening to be there, the fake relationship, the _source_, even the photo from the party, no one was supposed to be able to take pictures, how did they get that?

I stop dead in the middle of the room. Answer? It was all him.

I smack my forehead, "I'm so stupid. Wanker!"

"Anne?"

I'm already back in my bedroom scrambling for something to wear and pulling a brush through my tangled hair. Debating with myself whether or not I have time to shower. This was ending here. No more lies. No more not miscommunication. We were having this out once and for all. If we were going to be working together we couldn't have all this between us. Even if he had no feelings left for me, I wouldn't have him believing this was true. That I could be happy with someone like Richard after being with someone like him. He needed to know how I felt no matter how humiliating it would be for me when he turned me away.

I go into the bathroom, ignoring the worried looks and whispers passing back and forth between Adam and Harriet. Leaning over the sink applying toothpaste to my brush. I glance at my wrist. Running a finger over it, closing my eyes, instantly my body relaxed and my breathing eased just like it always did.

Yes I can do this, I can face him and make him see.

Harriet stands at the bathroom door, "Anne, you're really scaring me, are you okay?

I walk up and hug her. More grateful to her than she will ever know.

"No. But I know how I might be a whole lot better. Do you think TMR is open Sundays?"


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23

I'm scrolling down the contacts on my phone trying to find his number. Should I call him first or just make a big dramatic entrance? Surely dramatic would be better? Then again, what if there's no one there, I don't think I could take that rejection so early on in my quest!

My thumb nail hovers over the green receiver icon, the phone screen lights up:

'Do you want to call Fred Wentworth?' Do I? Before my brain can process an answer I've pressed it.

Two hours and countless calls later I'm getting anxious. Harriet and Adam left after we discovered via a quick text to Charlie that it was doubtful anyone would be at TMR on a normal Sunday let alone the day after the Christmas Party. Now there's no one to control my crazy. I'm laid on my bed not even realising I'm repeatedly pressing the call button over and over and over again.

I've heard that answer message so many times I had it memorised word for word. I realise I'm probably only listening to it now as a way of hearing his voice. But this time when I press it doesn't even ring first, it cuts straight to voicemail and I realise he must have turned his phone off. He must know I'm calling and he's turned his phone off. What the hell am I supposed to get take from that? He's angry, upset or just fed up of me calling? _Answer the bloody phone Freddie!_

I pull myself to my feet, my heads still banging, but its more of a dull nagging pain now. I know it will lift the moment I get relief from this tension, I'm forcing on myself. I should really eat something, my stomach groans as if in agreement. I open the cupboards and mindlessly prepare some lunch for myself.

I look around my sparse apartment. Yes I'm a celebrity, yes I'm rich, but I never felt the need to go all out and buy the big house, expensive cars, exotic holidays and designer clothes. I'm happy where I am. I'm in a nice neighbourhood. I can go out shopping and know if I see something I like I can get it, other than that, I don't see the point in spending money for the sake of it. I know this 'fame' wont last forever and I wanted to know I wouldn't have to worry for a long time. I guess that's all changed now, thanks to my dad.

But still, I have everything I need right here. _Right! _The truth of the matter is, I only ever wanted someone to share this with. To go on the expensive exotic holidays with, someone to wear the designer clothes for, someone to argue with over who was driving the car. Someone to share a home with and fill it with our things that we chose together and hopefully a couple of kids to complete the picture.

A tear rolls down my cheek. I hadn't cried in so long. It was like I'd forgotten how. These past few weeks had put close to that. Now it was like my eyes didn't have time to dry before the next bout. But this situation I find myself now in is so familiar, so close to how I was feeling eight years ago, I just can't help it. I go to the laundry bin and pull out Freddie's t shirt from last night, shrug out of my clothes and into it. Even though he hasn't worn it for so long and the smell of him has gone along time ago, I sniff the fabric and let the memory of his scent surround me. I sad smile creeps onto my face, if I close my eyes I could imagine his arms around me telling me everything will be ok, but then I open my eyes and know it will never be. I'm alone.

Feeling more than a little sorry for myself, I grab a bottle of wine, glancing at the clock, two pm, I shrug, there's no one to call me on it after all! Besides I needed some strength for what I was about to do. Dutch Courage and all that.

Forty minutes later I hang up the phone on Viv Russell. I had to put her straight about Richard. I was sure she's already started talks with a magazine about the rights to the wedding pictures! She was shocked of course. That the sweet boy she had come to know could be so vile, but she obviously understood my wishes to be no longer associated with him. She was penning a statement as we speak. She had asked me once if this was anything to do with 'that Wentworth man,' but I had changed the subject. I didn't want to lie. And if I told her it was nothing to do with him that would be exactly what I would be doing.

It was everything to do with him. I just didn't realise it until that exact moment. It was always about him deep down. Even though he was no where near me for the past eight years, he's been _with_ me as I made every decision. I always silently thought what would Freddie think? Especially when all the stuff went down with my family. Of course I knew exactly what Freddie would have thought about that! But knowing that he was, _he would have been_, on my side, made it so much more manageable.

With a sudden burst of energy I turn on some cheesy girl music and open another bottle of wine. Dancing around my empty apartment in Freddie's t-shirt and my furry slippers. I haven't felt this free, and dare I say happy, for a long time. An hour later, spurred on by some sudden strength, or maybe just alcohol, I have a great idea. I grab a chair and head for the large wardrobe in my room. Making sure I hold on, as a front page spread of me being carried out on a stretcher after a drunken fall would not be good right now, I reach up into the back of the top shelf. Damn it! I know its here somewhere. Gotcha!

I pull out a dusty old shoebox and settle cross legged on my bed. Pouring myself another glass of wine and taking a big gulp I open it. And just like that I'm eighteen again. Staring up at me is a pair of smiling blue green eyes. I take out the photo and just sit and stare at the gorgeous smile on his face and I can't stop smiling either. I'm in the picture too. He took it when I said yes, so we would have something to remember the moment by. He had taken it on his phone. His arm outstretched holding the camera away from us. I'm smiling up at his gorgeous face still amazed at the fact he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

It was the last ever picture I had of us. Because a few hours later we were over. I was never so glad of anything than when he'd sent it to my phone so I'd have a copy too. I'd got it printed and kept it, but hidden away so I could let myself remember or, at the same time forget. I had others of us of course. Hundred's of them, but this one was special. I sit back holding the photo to my heart, a single tear sliding down my cheek.

I fight with myself internally before my heart wins out and I grab the frame on the side. The one that contains a picture of Lizzie and my dad when she got her modelling contract - paid for by me - it turns out! Carefully removing the glass, I insert the picture of Freddie and I and put it back on the dresser.

Suddenly I feel warm and glowing inside. I return to the contents of the box, I shuffle through the pile of Valentines and Birthday cards. A cinema ticket from our first date, bits and pieces that meant nothing to anyone else but everything to me. They were memories of us. Of a time I was so happy. Inside and out. I felt like I had everything I'd ever need. No money, fame, houses, or cars, just us. Now I'd give anything and everything, to have that back. To have him back in my arms, in my life.

My old ipod catches my eye and I immediate retrieve it. I had the latest one given to me when I signed as a freebie, but had never had the heart to get rid of this one. It held so many memories of sitting at the back of that school hall. I plug in a charger and feel elated when the screen comes to life, I go to play list and select the one I want, I need. Adele's voice fills my ears and I remember that first glee club audition.

'Lose myself in time, just thinking of your face. God only knows why its taken me so long to let my doubts go, you're the only one that I want …' I lay back on my bed.

My night is filled with dreams and memories that make me sigh and smile. The alarm breaks through my thoughts for a second before I reach and turn it off without opening my eyes. I keep them shut clinging on to the last fleeting glimpse of a happier time - in my dreams. I stretch out my arms and legs. Knowing today was the day.

When I finally open my eyes, I'm greeted with a pair of blue green eyes smiling back at me and for a split second I think I must be still dreaming, Freddie is not in my bed! Then I open my eyes wider and realise I'm looking at the photo that, somehow during the night, has made it to the side of my bed. I still have my ipod ear phones in, I pull them out and get up. My head doesn't seem to hurt, from the amount of wine I consumed last night I'm very surprised. But I still have that tightness in my head that's aching to be relieved. So I jump out of bed and get ready.

After showering and breakfast, I stand once again in front of my wardrobe pulling out different outfits only to immediately discard them onto the pile growing in the corner of my room. As I stand in my white towelling robe, wet hair still wrapped in a towel, holding up two dresses to my body trying to pick between them I realise how stupid this is. If Freddie wants me, he'll want _me_, not some made up version. I push my glasses back up my nose, drop the dresses and grab my old crop jeans from the back of the chair. Pull on a black vest top and finish with my pale grey hoodie.

An hour later I'm in a taxi heading to TMR. I look at my phone, still no call from Freddie not even a text. But I wont let that bother me. Even if he doesn't want me, I just want him to hear me out. I pull nervously at my hoodie that's now ever so slightly too big, due to my sudden weight loss. Its hard to remember to eat when your life is falling apart. It repeatedly falls off my shoulder. I do love being thin but in all seriousness I need to get my act together. I can't not eat when I'm touring. It takes its toll as it is. Before I know it, I'm stood in front of the tall building, my heart beating so hard I have to hope my hoodie will hide it.


	24. Chapter 24

CHAPTER 24: Fred

The intercom on my desk crackles and then Henrietta's voice comes through the speaker.

"Mr Wentworth, Miss Anne Elliot is here to see you."

I sigh, I bet she is! I look at the newspapers covering my desk.

"Anne Elliot, keeping her name!"

I bite my cheek so much I taste blood. After spending most of yesterday in a drunken mess in bed, I've pulled myself together this morning. I know she tried to contact me yesterday, I'd laid there listening to the phone ring over and over again until I could stand it no more and had turned it off. I couldn't face it. Its was over, she had chosen. She had chosen the Dick. If I had spoken to her I would have begged her to leave him and choose me instead. And that would have ended up the same as it did eight years ago and despite being a grown man now I knew I couldn't put myself through that again, my heart couldn't mend a second time, especially as it never really healed the first time.

"Show her in Henrietta, and thanks."

She enters my office in a huff, hair flying behind her, no make up, glasses on, just like I always secretly preferred. The made up Anne, that was the stage version, this was my Annie. The one I fell in love with. When she was all shy and sitting in Lizzie's shadow at the back of the school hall. She's wearing crop jeans, a hoodie that's falling off her shoulders showing the black strap of her top beneath, God she's so sexy. Then I stop myself. She isn't yours. You can't think about her like that, not any more. As she gets closer to my desk I see her eyes fall to the newspapers and then to the floor. Her brown eyes are rimmed red, like she's been crying or hasn't slept. What? Is she embarrassed, guilty, ashamed? She didn't have to be. She was going to be happy.

"Fred look ..."

Shit. Don't explain, please don't let that beautiful mouth speak the words I'm still hanging on to the tiny chance can't be true. Don't say you're marrying him. I can't stand it. I need to stop her. I put my hand up immediately stopping her mid sentence.

"Its okay Anne, I know what you're going to say and its fine. You would have rather told me first in person, but the papers blah blah blah," I actually _say_ the blah part.

She smiles at the floor for a second and then raises her head, pushing her sleeves back as if trying to make a point, then as if to emphasise it, she puts both hands palm down on my desk. And then I see it ...

"Fred, that's not why I'm here ..."

But her words are lost on me, all I can see are the words tattooed on the inside of her wrist. My first thought is 'Annie has a tattoo?' Then I read the words, and I sit back down in my chair, one ankle across the other knee. A wide smile appearing on my face before I can stop myself. I look at her screw up her face, then back at her wrist. Then to the window then back to her wrist. All the time a huge grin on my face.

"Fred? FREDDIE? Are you even listening to me?"

She's mad, but I can't stop smiling at her. She's looking at me like I'm crazy, and maybe I am a little. Because that little bit of hope left in me, the slither of a chance is suddenly growing. Her hands are on her hips now and I can see the black script even clearer. She really has no idea I can see it. She must be really pissed. So I put her out of her misery. I lean forward my chin resting on one hand, elbow on my desk. Trying to appear relaxed and only mildly interested.

"What's that?"

I use my pen to point to her wrist with my free hand. She realises her mistake and immediately pulls her sleeve down. I stand at the same time and grab her arm gently, pulling her towards me, pushing backup her sleeve and a familiar spark pulsates through my whole body. She sucks in a breath through her teeth like she's feeling it too. Like the rigging incident all over again. She looks up at me through the chocolate veil covering her face. She never looked so innocent, so afraid. Afraid of what? Me? She'd never been afraid of me, what then? My reaction? Does she think I'll think bad of her for doing it? I smile again trying to get her to relax, her eyes soften slightly.

I lean forward into her, and in a whisper I repeat "Anne, what's that?"

She shakes her hair out of her eyes and takes a step back, but not releasing her arm from my hand. Her body visibly changes, she pulls herself up.

"It's a tattoo."

Huh, we're playing it this way are we?

"Yes. I can see that. I meant, what does it say?"

She takes a deep breath in, her eyes on mine.

"You know what it says" and I do.

"Somebody and Everything." I answer still in a whisper.

She looks in my eyes and I swear it's like hers are asking me to kiss her. We stay like this, frozen in time for I don't how long, before she slowly pulls her wrist free.

"I needed to believe it, even when you weren't there to tell me." She breathes.

Oh Annie.

I want to take her in my arms then and there. I have this over whelming instinct to hold her and protect her. I guess that's why I was the one who had to rescue her at Uppercross. I couldn't stand seeing her in any kind of distress. I never could. I'd have gone on stage for her when she was younger if I could have. I loved her so much. To see her hurt, hurt me. To know she was in pain, killed me.

If I ever did hear people saying anything other than a compliment behind her back I would always approach them, _nicely_, and put them straight, _nicely_, on how they should treat her. She was my girl. My responsibility. My whole life. If they messed with her, they messed with me. I even had the lads look out for her if ever I wasn't by her side. She always seemed so little and frail, like she needed looking after.

Now she was asking me to let her go. I hold her gaze a moment longer willing her to understand how I feel. But instead she sits down in the chair putting the desk between us once again. I swallow the lump that had some how formed in my throat. I realise this is getting us no where, what am I doing to myself? It's over, it's in the past, it's done. It's a nice gesture between friends, a stage prop, nothing else.

"So what is this about then?" I ask, clearing my throat as I speak.

"I need to arrange a press conference."

She states clearly, like its on her to do list or something. Huh? Is she really wanting me to be involved with her announcing to the world her engagement? To stand there and watch while the last piece of my heart withered and died. The Annie I knew was never so cruel. Surely me being with Louisa hadn't upset her that much, and anyway she knew now that was all nothing.

"Anne, I don't know if you know this, but I'm a _writer_, a song writer, I don't arrange press conferences." I snap at her.

This is a fucking joke. I go back to my emails. I won't, I _can't,_ look at her right now. She didn't even seem this cruel the day she gave me back my ring. I steal a glance at the top drawer of my desk. Knowing just inside, nestled between all my important papers, was a small black velvet box. The only procession I didn't give up to go to LA.

"Right, yeah, I just thought ... Don't you even want to know what I want to announce?"

I stay quiet, because at this precise moment I want nothing less. My heart is in my fucking throat, I can literally feel my airway closing. _Shit, dentist flashback._

"I want to announce to the world what a first class wanker Richard Elliot is, and how I will NOT be marrying him ... ever!"

I jump out of my chair and stand mouth open, gaping, the air rushing back in. My head immediately clear, as Harry Harville, bursts into my office, followed by Mary and Charles Musgrove, and just like that the moment, our moment, is over.


	25. Chapter 25

CHAPTER 26: Fred

I drop my pen and quickly retrieve it from the hard wood floor before I draw attention to the fact I'm no longer writing but eves dropping to the conversation going on in the recording booth. I was so intrigued what they could be saying to each other I had turned up the microphones in the booth so I could hear, and now I couldn't believe my ears.

I can't believe what I have just heard, 'never stop hoping.' Does she ... could she mean? She still _loves_ me. I begin pacing up and down trying to think, it always worked for Annie. I have my fingers laced behind my head. What else could she mean? She's told me its over with her and Elliot, she's not engaged. She's just said women never stop hoping, never stop loving. She has to mean me, surely? But I need to know. I need to know once and for all, how can either of us truly move on with all this between us. We're supposed to be working together. We need to clear the air. I need to know where I stand. If I have any chance. I have to do something, now! I immediately put down the lyrics I've been messing about with for James.

I look back at the booth. Harry still has her in deep conversation. I could just barge in there and kiss her. No, not in front of Harry. Some sort of big romantic gesture maybe? No, that wasn't Anne's style, despite being a celebrity, I knew she hated being the centre of attention, something like that would mortify her. I knew that, I knew her. She was a thinker, organised, conscientious and responsible. I'd need to give her options and time to decide. I know it wasn't the most romantic thing to do, but I knew Anne, my Annie, would appreciate it. I look at the scrunched up bits of paper littering the desk and I have an idea.

I grab a clean sheet of paper, checking she's still in conversation with Harry and begin…

_Annie,_

_I cant hold this in any more, I need to speak to you by any means I can. You pierce my soul. I'm in agony here, is there any hope for me? Please tell me I'm not too late, that you still have feelings for me. My heart still belongs to you, even after you almost broke it all those years ago. Please don't say that a man gets over this sooner than a woman, that he moves on more quickly. I have loved none but you. I know it may have appeared otherwise, with all the mistakes I've made, the way I acted towards you, the Louisa stuff, but it was nothing. I was always with you in my heart. The song I wrote, I wrote it for you! It was all for you, I do everything for you, for us. Did you really not see that? If I had known sooner about Elliot, I wouldn't have waited this long. I can hardly write. I heard everything you and Harry said. I always listened to you, when no one else took notice. You're so incredible. You haven't changed a bit. To me you're that same 17 year old girl I fell in love with. What you said about people who love staying that way, never forgetting, you were right. I'm the perfect example!_

_I'm going to try and give you some space now, chance to think about what you want, but I shall be here waiting. All you need to do, if you want me too, is give me some sort of sign. A word, a look, will be enough._

_Freddie._

I re read the letter smiling to myself. Being a song writer I'm good with words, and when I'm good, I'm great! Its like the words just tumble out of me. Now was no exception, just hearing that confession coming from Annie had opened a door to somewhere deep inside my heart that was bursting at the seams with sentiments I had kept hidden for so long. Even from myself.

I hope to God no one other than her ever reads this, as I would never live it down. Then I laugh to myself, who am I kidding? I'd shout it from the roof tops if it meant I had her back in my life.

I manage to fold it over and mark it for her attention, hopefully everyone else would think it was just changes to her song we were supposed to be rehearsing, But wait, what if it did fall in to someone else's hands and she never saw it? Panic hits, how can I make sure she receives it? As if answering my silent prayers, she comes out of the recording booth, followed closely by Harry.

"Oh sorry, I didn't realise you were still working, hope we didn't disturb you?"

I stand quiet, shaking my head, trying to find my voice "No, its nothing I was just ..."

"Harry says you're working on a song for James and Louisa? That's really nice ..." Then she lowers her voice looking sideways at Harry, "... considering."

I seize my chance. "Yeah, actually Annie ..." God I love saying her name, "would you mind taking a look? I don't like to ask Harry ... _considering._"

"Sure." She shrugs and smiles.

I hand her the supposed lyrics and tell Harry I'll take him down to the dance studio ready for the rehearsal. Leaving Annie to either make everything okay, or else break my heart indefinitely this time.

For my sake I hope its the former.

Mary seems intent on coming with us, secretly I'm glad. I'd like Annie to be alone, however, it would seem Charlie is staying. He's hovering in the back, not watching her like me. Forget that night of the mugging in LA, right now I have now been so scared in my entire life. I keep watching her as I close the gap of the door, the last thing I see is her sitting down, her small hands opening the letter and the recognition on her face as she realises it isn't song lyrics. Then I finally gave in and closed the door entirely.

Once we reach the dance studio and Mary has scuttled off to find something to stick her nose in, I begin pacing up and down. Sitting would be useless right now. I can't think straight. I don't know how long to leave it. Should I stay here, should I go to her? This is driving me insane, its like the weekend I asked her to marry me all over again. Something catches my eye and I look up. Harry is staring at me, chin in hand, like he doesn't even know me right now, and to be honest neither do I.

"Fred, what's going on?"

"What?"

"You know what, you've been acting strange since this morning in your office, well to be honest, you've not been yourself for weeks! Ever since Soph's wedding, ever since…"

Then suddenly I can see it hit him, like a smack in the face, he's on his feet and coming at me.

"It's her isn't it?" He thumbs towards the door "Annie Elliot?"

"DON'T! … Don't call her that."

I regret my outburst immediately. I may as well have confessed there and then. He's grinning, exactly like he did nearly ten years ago when I confessed having more than impure thoughts about Lizzie Elliot's little sister. He thought I was out of my mind then, thought I should be going for Lizzie and not Annie. How could I make him see to me she was perfection itself. I hear Harry blow out a sigh and see him shaking his head.

"What's the story then. You've been seeing her as well as Louisa or what?"

"NO! GOD NO! Harry what do you think I am?"

We both look over at Mary but luckily she is too involved with the fashion rack to react. I turn to leave but Harry grabs me by the shoulder.

"Ok, then calm down and explain it to me."

I step back towards the door and then sigh, he's my oldest friend and had always been there for me when I was down for reasons he didn't even know. Every Valentines day, anniversary or her birthday were always low points for me. Usually when I'd hook up with Louisa but on the times when even she wouldn't help, Harry was always a phone call away ready to meet me at the pub and put the world to rights or just to make sure I got home ok when I got stinking drunk! Its time he knew, he deserved that.

"You know the other week when you asked me what happened to us in Uni, did we just grow apart? Well I lied. We didn't. We were crazy about each other. Madly and deeply in love, so much so that I ... that I asked her to marry me." Harry's reaction is priceless, he practically falls off the chair. I quickly continue. "She said yes, we were happy."

"So? ... So what happened? Why aren't you married?"

"She changed her mind. She broke it off, gave me back my ring. I was devastated. I tried to hate her. Tried to make it work with Louisa, before James obviously. But I never stopped wanting Anne, I thought I had, but I was wrong. I still care, I still want her. I ... I still have feelings for her … I still love her."


	26. Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26: Fred

I drop my pen and quickly retrieve it from the hard wood floor before I draw attention to the fact I'm no longer writing but eves dropping to the conversation going on in the recording booth. I was so intrigued what they could be saying to each other I had turned up the microphones in the booth so I could hear, and now I couldn't believe my ears.

I can't believe what I have just heard, 'never stop hoping.' Does she ... could she mean? She still _loves_ me. I begin pacing up and down trying to think, it always worked for Annie. I have my fingers laced behind my head. What else could she mean? She's told me its over with her and Elliot, she's not engaged. She's just said women never stop hoping, never stop loving. She has to mean me, surely? But I need to know. I need to know once and for all, how can either of us truly move on with all this between us. We're supposed to be working together. We need to clear the air. I need to know where I stand. If I have any chance. I have to do something, now! I immediately put down the lyrics I've been messing about with for James.

I look back at the booth. Harry still has her in deep conversation. I could just barge in there and kiss her. No, not in front of Harry. Some sort of big romantic gesture maybe? No, that wasn't Anne's style, despite being a celebrity, I knew she hated being the centre of attention, something like that would mortify her. I knew that, I knew her. She was a thinker, organised, conscientious and responsible. I'd need to give her options and time to decide. I know it wasn't the most romantic thing to do, but I knew Anne, my Annie, would appreciate it. I look at the scrunched up bits of paper littering the desk and I have an idea.

I grab a clean sheet of paper, checking she's still in conversation with Harry and begin…

_Annie,_

_I cant hold this in any more, I need to speak to you by any means I can. You pierce my soul. I'm in agony here, is there any hope for me? Please tell me I'm not too late, that you still have feelings for me. My heart still belongs to you, even after you almost broke it all those years ago. Please don't say that a man gets over this sooner than a woman, that he moves on more quickly. I have loved none but you. I know it may have appeared otherwise, with all the mistakes I've made, the way I acted towards you, the Louisa stuff, but it was nothing. I was always with you in my heart. The song I wrote, I wrote it for you! It was all for you, I do everything for you, for us. Did you really not see that? If I had known sooner about Elliot, I wouldn't have waited this long. I can hardly write. I heard everything you and Harry said. I always listened to you, when no one else took notice. You're so incredible. You haven't changed a bit. To me you're that same 17 year old girl I fell in love with. What you said about people who love staying that way, never forgetting, you were right. I'm the perfect example!_

_I'm going to try and give you some space now, chance to think about what you want, but I shall be here waiting. All you need to do, if you want me too, is give me some sort of sign. A word, a look, will be enough._

_Freddie._

I re read the letter smiling to myself. Being a song writer I'm good with words, and when I'm good, I'm great! Its like the words just tumble out of me. Now was no exception, just hearing that confession coming from Annie had opened a door to somewhere deep inside my heart that was bursting at the seams with sentiments I had kept hidden for so long. Even from myself.

I hope to God no one other than her ever reads this, as I would never live it down. Then I laugh to myself, who am I kidding? I'd shout it from the roof tops if it meant I had her back in my life.

I manage to fold it over and mark it for her attention, hopefully everyone else would think it was just changes to her song we were supposed to be rehearsing, But wait, what if it did fall in to someone else's hands and she never saw it? Panic hits, how can I make sure she receives it? As if answering my silent prayers, she comes out of the recording booth, followed closely by Harry.

"Oh sorry, I didn't realise you were still working, hope we didn't disturb you?"

I stand quiet, shaking my head, trying to find my voice "No, its nothing I was just ..."

"Harry says you're working on a song for James and Louisa? That's really nice ..." Then she lowers her voice looking sideways at Harry, "... considering."

I seize my chance. "Yeah, actually Annie ..." God I love saying her name, "would you mind taking a look? I don't like to ask Harry ... _considering._"

"Sure." She shrugs and smiles.

I hand her the supposed lyrics and tell Harry I'll take him down to the dance studio ready for the rehearsal. Leaving Annie to either make everything okay, or else break my heart indefinitely this time.

For my sake I hope its the former.

Mary seems intent on coming with us, secretly I'm glad. I'd like Annie to be alone, however, it would seem Charlie is staying. He's hovering in the back, not watching her like me. Forget that night of the mugging in LA, right now I have now been so scared in my entire life. I keep watching her as I close the gap of the door, the last thing I see is her sitting down, her small hands opening the letter and the recognition on her face as she realises it isn't song lyrics. Then I finally gave in and closed the door entirely.

Once we reach the dance studio and Mary has scuttled off to find something to stick her nose in, I begin pacing up and down. Sitting would be useless right now. I can't think straight. I don't know how long to leave it. Should I stay here, should I go to her? This is driving me insane, its like the weekend I asked her to marry me all over again. Something catches my eye and I look up. Harry is staring at me, chin in hand, like he doesn't even know me right now, and to be honest neither do I.

"Fred, what's going on?"

"What?"

"You know what, you've been acting strange since this morning in your office, well to be honest, you've not been yourself for weeks! Ever since Soph's wedding, ever since…"

Then suddenly I can see it hit him, like a smack in the face, he's on his feet and coming at me.

"It's her isn't it?" He thumbs towards the door "Annie Elliot?"

"DON'T! … Don't call her that."

I regret my outburst immediately. I may as well have confessed there and then. He's grinning, exactly like he did nearly ten years ago when I confessed having more than impure thoughts about Lizzie Elliot's little sister. He thought I was out of my mind then, thought I should be going for Lizzie and not Annie. How could I make him see to me she was perfection itself. I hear Harry blow out a sigh and see him shaking his head.

"What's the story then. You've been seeing her as well as Louisa or what?"

"NO! GOD NO! Harry what do you think I am?"

We both look over at Mary but luckily she is too involved with the fashion rack to react. I turn to leave but Harry grabs me by the shoulder.

"Ok, then calm down and explain it to me."

I step back towards the door and then sigh, he's my oldest friend and had always been there for me when I was down for reasons he didn't even know. Every Valentines day, anniversary or her birthday were always low points for me. Usually when I'd hook up with Louisa but on the times when even she wouldn't help, Harry was always a phone call away ready to meet me at the pub and put the world to rights or just to make sure I got home ok when I got stinking drunk! Its time he knew, he deserved that.

"You know the other week when you asked me what happened to us in Uni, did we just grow apart? Well I lied. We didn't. We were crazy about each other. Madly and deeply in love, so much so that I ... that I asked her to marry me." Harry's reaction is priceless, he practically falls off the chair. I quickly continue. "She said yes, we were happy."

"So? ... So what happened? Why aren't you married?"

"She changed her mind. She broke it off, gave me back my ring. I was devastated. I tried to hate her. Tried to make it work with Louisa, before James obviously. But I never stopped wanting Anne, I thought I had, but I was wrong. I still care, I still want her. I ... I still have feelings for her … I still love her."


	27. Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27: Anne

I'm trembling from head to foot. No strike that, I am absolutely shaking, in full blown shock. I need to pace, to work this out. But I can't feel my legs, I actually can't feel any body part other than the fingers that are holding on to this letter so hard my knuckles are turning white.

He loves me. He loves me. Freddie loves me. Fred Wentworth still loves me.

Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God. What do I do? I … I ... I need to do something, anything. I read the letter again as if it holds the answers to all my questions, and in some ways it really does.

He still loves me. Okay we've gathered that part. What else? He's never loved any one else, no one else compares to me. He's been stupid – well yeah! – but he still loves me. All that stuff with Louisa was nothing. To him I'm still the 17 year old he fell in love with, I haven't changed – aw thanks babe, although I think we both know that's not true! Eight years is a long time after all. But he wants me back, wants me to let him know if I feel the same, it can be as discreet as I want, a word, a look. Oh but I want to do so much more, I want to go down there and hold him and kiss him and tell him I feel the same way that I never stopped loving him, that all that stuff with Richard was just a lie, a publicity stunt. That he needn't be jealous. It was always him.

We can be together again, this time no messing it up, together forever, like it should have been, nothing and nobody getting in the way. I will not let myself be persuaded by others this time. I've missed eight years of my life when I should have been happier. The past few years I have lived my life for everyone else. Doing every thing in my power to make them happy because I loved them and that's what I wanted to do. But now I need to do something for me. Its time I woke up with a smile on my face and time I started living again.

The thought of being with Freddie, being part of his life again makes me feel warm inside. I actually have butterflies in my tummy, not the sick ones I get before a show when I'm terrified of everything that could go wrong, but more that I'm hopeful for everything that could go right. Sharing a life with Fred, raising a family with him, growing old with him. It's almost too much to take, a real life dream come true.

Suddenly I have the wedding march playing though my head and Fred holding a baby while he smiles adoringly at me. Whoa, I feel dizzy again. I put my head in my sweaty palms running my hands through my hair again. Calm down Anne, you need to calm down. Think where you are. Charlie's just through there and Mary and Harry upstairs with Fred. _Fred_.

I look at the letter again, already its getting creased from the amount of times I have read it in the past twenty minutes. He knew just what to do to tell me how he felt, how was he so good at that? Knowing just what to do and say when it concerned me. He always did. How could I have failed to see that? He was always the one who saw me for who I wanted to be, like he could see into my soul and made me feel so special so important, like nothing and nobody else mattered. I was his and he was mine.

Us. Together. Forever.

Now I'm shaking again, I feel the beads of perspiration on my forehead and at the same time I have goose bumps. I blow out a long breath quietly trying to calm myself, but not quietly enough it seems, as Charlie is hurrying towards me, a concerned look on his face. How am I supposed to get out of this? I blink a few times and swallow trying to remain calm.

"Anne, God what's up with you? You look like you've seen a ghost!"

Oh God how was I supposed to recover so quickly from such a letter? I try to steady myself getting to my feet slowly with the intention of getting out of there as soon as possible. I need to get to Fred. I need to get away from Charlie but at the same time I'm slightly afraid I won't actually be able to walk far enough without my legs giving way beneath me to reach the lift!

"Anne! Talk to me, are you ok?"

Charlie's really looking worried now. I take his arm while I stand. Yes I can stand. First battle won.

"I'm okay Charlie, well no, I'm not feeling well, that is, I'll be okay, I just need to..."

I'm rambling as I use his arm as a crutch guiding me from the room, down the corridor and towards the lifts. As I reach the lift I relax some more, second battle won. Now just to get to Fred and articulate some sort of response.

"Look I'll take you upstairs so you can get some air, maybe we can use Fred's office or something?"

YES! "Yes! That is -yes- yes, that's a good idea Charlie thanks. Yes please take me to Fred's office." _Please be there, but what if he's not?_ "Charlie listen there's something I remembered I need to tell Fred. But listen Charlie if I don't manage to see him, before you that is, will you do something for me? Will you tell him that I am very grateful for the song he wrote for me, I'm not sure he knows that I appreciate it as much as I do, and I do, so can you, can you try and tell him that I appreciated it, a lot? Please?"

I can't even remember what I just said, and Charlie's looking at me like I must have fallen down and hit my head at some point. Shit, now his eyes are actually checking my head for wounds. He grabs my wrist with one hand while putting his other palm against my forehead.

"Charlie what the hell are you doing?"

"Checking your pulse and temperature."

He replies completely serious, no humour in his voice. God this is bad.

"Jesus Charlie I'm fine. Just a little light headed. I probably didn't eat enough or something. I just need to see … er to sit down for a minute or two and I'll be fine."

I reach forward and press the lift button, but its already on the way down.

"Don't forget if you see Fred …"

I realise how lame this all sounds but it might be my one chance and I'm past caring. I leave for the tour in two days and I can't go without telling him I feel the same.

"Yeah of course Anne ..." the lift opens "... but here look, you can tell him yourself."

I look up and he's there in front of me, looking like a nervous little boy. I drop my head suddenly aware of what I must look like. My hair is in my eyes, I reach up to brush it out of the way and at the same time steal a glance at Freddie. I smile to myself, he's looking at Charlie, obviously afraid to make eye contact with me in case I'm about to give him the wrong answer, and it would be _so_ the wrong answer.

"Tell me what?"

I try to keep my face expressionless as he looks anxiously at me. Time to put him out of his misery, this time I don't just smile-smile, its a full on jaw aching grin. His face breaks into a smile and he grins back.

"Oh Anne has something to ask you ... or tell you … or something, but it doesn't matter at the moment, she's ill, come on all of a sudden. What are you off to now? Are you headed back up to your office?"

"I'm not sure." Fred answers Charlie but never takes his eyes off me. I can feel him drinking in every one of my features as his eyes sweep across my face.

"I told her I'd take her up to your office while she gets her bearings back, but the thing is, I only have the dance studio space for so long and I really need to get back there and get the dancers started so they'll be ready for the tour and ..."

Fred turns to full on face me looking concerned at the thought of me being ill. I give him my sly smile admitting it was partly an act just to get me to him. He raises an eyebrow in return and smirks at the floor. I don't hear any more of Charlie's words, I just see Freddie looking at me, smiling at me. We're having a conversation all in our minds. He's saying something back to Charlie about him being able to take me, and Charlie is walking away, and Freddie's taking me by the hand putting his arm around me leading me into the lift. His arm falls, our fingers find each others and entwine.

Suddenly I know everything is going to be alright.

The doors close and we're alone.

As if reading my mind and understanding my need to talk, he pulls the emergency stop button.


	28. Chapter 28

CHAPTER 28

"We shouldn't be doing this. You shouldn't have done that. Not this ..." I wave the letter frantically not letting it go. Then point to the button. "…That. We shouldn't, you shouldn't. Oh my God. You know I'm pretty sure that's illegal, I mean there's probably security guards on their way here now. Shit. There's probably cameras in this lift, watching us now, knowing you did that."

Where is all this rubbish coming from? I can't stop talking. I'm frantically pacing across the lift floor, trying to collect my thoughts and words so they make some sort of sense before I open my mouth again. This lift is so small. I'm not a claustrophobic by any means, but this tiny space seems to be getting smaller by the second. We haven't been this close, alone, since we were together. All of my confidence from reading his letter is rapidly disappearing. Now I have to actually face him and tell him what I think, what I feel, what I know. I can't do it.

Suddenly Freddie's hands are on my waist and he's pulling me towards him so close, I stop breathing.

"Annie, look at me."

I slowly raise my eyes to his, letting my heart continue beating, only faster than ever.

"Stop pacing. Stop talking. Stop thinking. Please. Just listen. Now its my turn."

He still has his hands on my waist, his thumbs stroking the tops of my hips. Each stroke putting me more at ease. Suddenly its quite easy to do all four of those things.

"I kind of think you already did that," I wave the letter I realise is still in its vice like grip in my hand. "Did you, do you mean it? These words? Are they true?" My voice sounds urgent, desperate, but I guess I am.

Fred's hands reluctantly leave my body and he replaces them on his own hips moving away from me. He rubs the back of head with one hand the other remaining on his hip.

"Annie, I tried to forget you okay, I really thought I had. But you, you ..."

He looks to ceiling as if for answers. Like he's frustrated. With what? Me? Us?

"Jesus Christ, can't you see what you do to me? You Annie- you were the one who ended things, you turned _me_ down, you broke _my _heart."

He repeatedly jabs at his chest with his thumb, as if trying to get the point through to me more clearly. When in reality nothing was more clear. I knew I had broken his heart. I knew I had ended things. I knew I had caused us both so much pain. No one else to blame but me. I look at the floor biting on my fist trying to hold back the tears I know are aching to fall. but its too late, they start to cascade my cheek.

"I'm sorry Freddie, I'm so so sorry. I can spend the rest of my life telling you how much I regret everything that happened between us that day. Your face, the way you looked when I gave you back that ring, has stayed with me always, it was the worst mistake of my life. It always will be. But I can't change what is past."

By now I'm sobbing uncontrollably. I've made another huge mistake. He didn't want me back. It was all some kind of sick joke, a way of getting back at me. He still hated me after all this time. Everything that happened over the past few weeks was all in my imagination. He had no feelings towards me. I feel myself shudder and I feel sick. I reach for the emergency button. Fred grabs my arms.

"No Annie. Don't." His voice is so soft. He doesn't sound angry. "Shit, I didn't want to make you cry. That's not what this is about. I didn't say I hate you or that I blamed you. I said, I _tried_ to. But the truth is I never could. What I thought was hatred towards you, was hatred towards our situation - what was happening to us. I loved you Annie. I still love you. It's always been you and it always will be."

Before I can even react, his lips are on mine just a sweet brush of the lips kiss as if in warning for what was coming next. He slowly drags his hands up me until they are resting, one in my hair, the other on the back of my neck and deepens the kiss. It feels ... _wonderful_. Like we belong here, like it should always be, like this is what I have been missing for eight long years. After a far too short space of time he releases me. I stumble a bit forward still floating from the kiss. He catches me and stands me right. Then wipes away my remaining tears with the pad of his thumb.

"Soooo ..." I flutter my eyelashes at him. Knowing I must look like a puffy eyed freak.

"So?" His hands travel down my arms, leaving goose bumps in their wake. He holds my hands. I notice how they seem to fit together, perfectly.

"I can't believe this is happening Freddie. I mean really happening, some one like me shouldn't be allowed to feel this happy."

"Hey, don't do that! Stop putting yourself down all the time. My God, Annie for a gorgeous successful singer, you really should have more self confidence you know!"

"I know, its something I need to work on. Maybe you could help?" I grin.

He's leaning towards me, kissing my neck trying to gain access to my mouth again.

"Freddie I wish we could stay in here all day. But ..."

He halts almost instantly pushing my back flat against the wall of the lift, a hand on either side of my head, as if frightened I might bolt at any moment.

"But?" He sounds panicky his whole body is tense.

"But ...we need to talk."

He relaxes and goes back to kissing my neck, I feel him smile against my skin.

"Annie there's a lot of things I want your mouth to be doing right now, but talking was not high on my list."

I immediately blush and blow out a long breath calming myself down. Sliding under his arms, I put some distance between us and _try_ to give him a stern face. He groans and slides down to the floor, I join him and just to make sure we're still on the same side I snuggle up to him, knees knocking together. I can see he's intrigued.

"Okay then babe, what do we need to talk about to get this wonderful thing perfect?"

I giggle at him calling me babe, it doesn't sound like when Richard called it me. It sounds like it should, a term of endearment, not 'I've forgot your name so this will have to do.'

"Well first, I think I should talk about what happened before, when we were together."

I feel, rather than see him tense again, I lace my fingers through his, my thumb drawing patterns on his wrist, trying to get him to relax and listen, it works.

"I was wrong, I know that now. I shouldn't have let myself be guided by others who didn't know you, didn't know us. I let myself be persuaded by those who thought they knew better, but they didn't and in all honesty, if that was me in their shoes and someone was asking me for my opinion I would advise very differently. But my dad, and more likely, miss Russell, they were just trying to look out for me and I can't blame them for that. I don't want you to either, or this will never work. They are both a part of my life, for better or worse, and I need you to all get along."

I look at him pleading, he lets out a breath I think he may have been holding the whole time through my speech.

"I cant promise anything Annie, but yes, I will try. I have thought back too, and although I will never forgive them for their part in splitting us up, I can see they loved you and thought they were doing the right thing. And in some small tiny way, I can say it didn't harm my career having all this bitterness building up inside me, it made for some great songs!"

I laugh at this and he's laughing too, he kisses my hand, "I missed this. I missed us. So much sometimes I couldn't breathe, like you really had broken my heart. But what's past is past I want to concentrate on our future, together." He murmurs.

At these words I give in and kiss him till I forget why I stopped us in the first place.

"Um what was I saying?" He laughs. "Oh yes, the first class wanker. I want, I _need_ you to know. There was no truth in _any _part of it. A publicity stunt from start to finish. He convinced Viv, it would be good for me, but it was all about him. He orchestrated the whole thing, the kiss included. I was never with him, I still loved you. Always."


	29. Chapter 29

CHAPTER 29: Fred

Anne and I sat on the floor of that lift, for I don't know how long, but long enough for both of us to have a numb arse! And more importantly long enough for us to both explain the past few weeks. We had both repeatedly miss understood each other so much so, it was comical. I told her how when I saw her that first time I was angry, so much so I wanted to hurt her, and Louisa seemed the best way of doing it. But I was really just angry she was so hurt. I couldn't believe she had let the very people who were supposed to be protecting her, walk all over her. Deep down I was ashamed. Ashamed with myself for letting her get like this. I should have known. Instead of facing up to myself, I tried to show her how I was so much better without her. Then all the stuff with Louisa and the pregnancy just over complicated things and made it seem so much more serious than it ever was.

I confess that after I found out about Louisa and James, knowing I was completely free, I did every thing I could to be a part of her life again. I did everything within my power to get her closer to me. Working with her seemed an ideal solution. Seeing all the stuff in the papers about her and Richard Elliot. Knowing he was just what her family had always wanted for her. I felt I had been over looked again. I decided then I still wanted her to be happy, to know she was. So I presented TMR with the songs I had written long ago. The ones I had written for her. The idea worked, they wanted to work with her.

Then that wanker showed up to the meeting, fawning all over her and I knew Viv Russell thought they were great together. And the record company and everyone else, and it just seemed I was doomed from the beginning. I tell her how I had barely controlled myself watching him with her, hearing him call her babe. When that was ours. It made me sick to my stomach. I had gone back to my office, locked the door and wallowed in my misery. What I didn't tell her, was how I opened the top drawer of my desk, reached beneath the papers and retrieved the small black velvet box, and held it in my hand until I was finally calm enough to come out.

I couldn't believe my luck when I had bumped into her again in the lobby. She seemed genuinely pleased to see me. Touching her on her back as I had done when we were at school brought everything back. I stared into her eyes and saw a flicker of something there to give me hope. Until Elliot had appeared once again and interrupted us. But then seeing her at the party, the way she sought me out, I felt empowered to go on, only to be shot back down by that kiss. The _engagement_, the final nail in the coffin. I had lost her all over again. I was so jealous.

She shakes her head at this, as if no one should want her as much as I do. Does she not see how gorgeous and funny and sexy and smart she really is? That's before she opens her mouth and sings! I tell her my fury at reading the headlines and how I thought all was lost, she was happy with Elliot, that she had been persuaded again to make the wrong decision. She's on her feet now looking at me irritated, she takes to pacing the floor again, making me chuckle. She always did this when she needed to think, or when she was mad at me.

"Freddie, how could you think that I could want someone like him? Yes at nineteen when I was young and needed guidance and advice from those around me, I was stupid enough to be obliged to give you up. Something that broke my heart and I spent the rest of my life regretting. But I'm not nineteen anymore. I'm a grown woman now and I would never allow myself to be persuaded enough to spend what was left of my life with someone I could never love. Not while ever there was still a chance …" She sits back down resting her head on my shoulder like she did in the hotel corridor. "...While ever there was a chance for us. While ever there was a chance of true happiness ... with you."

I wrap my arms around her. I felt angry at myself for believing it of her and also relief that _my Annie_ had always believed in us, even if she hadn't known it could amount to anything. I went on to ask her something that had been on my mind for a while.

"Mary told me something, when we were staying at the house. She said you and Charlie had been together for a time. That it got serious but he left you for Mary. Is that true, did _he_ break it off? Or was that because of your dad and miss Russell?"

"He asked me to marry him." She adds quietly. She holds my hands tracing each of my fingers with one of hers. I can't stop watching her, her third finger on her left hand catches my eye repeatedly and I think back to that photo on my phone and how there should be my ring on that finger and a wedding band to match. She continues. "I told miss Russell. She was pleased, I was twenty-two and my career was well established, she thought it was a fairytale ending. But I was no longer led by them, I couldn't do it. I couldn't do that to him. He deserved better."

"Huh!" I couldn't help myself. Moaning Mary came to mind immediately and I was almost certain Charlie would have rather had Anne in his life right now whether she truly loved him or not. She shoves my shoulder chiding me. She knows what I'm thinking.

"…Well at least someone who loved _only_ him. I could never have done that, I would have been a shadow of myself, not the real me, the real me always belonged to someone else" she looks up at me. Her eyes displaying the deep seated love that used to be present always, and I hoped always would be.

I hold up her wrist letting my finger trace the words. "_My_ somebody, _my _everything?"

"I hope so."

Christ, will this wonderful woman never learn how treasured she really is? I try to think of some words that will explain how much she means to me, but there are none. But just in case she still needed convincing, I gather her up in my arms pulling her onto my lap, wrapping my arms around her. I kiss every bit of her I can see.

Starting and ending with her tattoo.

My somebody, my everything. And for the first time, I truly believed I was hers too.

After a flushed few minutes I pull her to her feet and we brush ourselves down, giggling like kids that had been caught kissing in the back row of the cinema. She helps me straighten my shirt, and I help her adjust her hair. I kiss her again. I can't help it. I'd spent eight years thinking about kissing her and now she was in my arms I couldn't seem to let her go.

"We'd better get you to your rehearsal" I sigh, pressing my forehead against hers. Then I stand back, "that is if you're feeling better now?" Cocking my eyebrow.

She giggles again, I love that sound.

"Yes surprisingly I feel much better than I did earlier! We had better show our faces. Shall we go in separately? Do you think they might think we we're up to something?"

Suddenly I get scared, she doesn't want anyone to know about us. I take her hands.

"Is that so bad? I mean ... don't you want them to know we're together?"

"God no! I mean yes! Yes of course I want them to know! I mean I just … I want to enjoy us for a bit first. I'm due to leave in two days time and I don't want to have to share you with anyone else - answering questions. Is that bad do you think? If you'd rather tell everyone now, that's fine. I can't wait to tell everyone how lucky I am to have you back in my life, to have second chance." She beams.

I instantly smile and relax. Squeezing the hand that I hadn't let go of, for a second.

"Firstly, whether the whole world knows or not, _nothing_ would prevent me from having you to myself for the next 48 hours. I don't want to have to let you go then, if I'm honest and that's something we'll have to work out later. Secondly, I am the only one that's lucky here, and I have every intention of proving that to you everyday of my life. I love you Annie, so much so I can't even find the words, and I'm a song writer!"

I release the stop button, and the lift shudders down to the level housing the dance studio. We agree not to say anything to anyone else about us. The publicity fall out from the Elliot thing was going to be enough to deal with. But that didn't stop us from grabbing stolen moments when ever we could. Any excuse to brush past each other, hold hands under a table, always with the hope of more, and always with the knowledge of each being there for the other. If anyone noticed they didn't say.

I did pluck up the courage to ask her if, after my two years in LA, had I come back to her would she have changed her mind then.

"Would I? Of course I would!"

I hated myself, more than her dad and miss Russell. It was the truth I had been dreading. While they we're the ones who had parted us all those years ago, it was my doing that had kept us that way. But Annie reminded me, we were much happier than most people so we shouldn't let the past continue to drag us down with 'what if's?'


	30. Chapter 30

CHAPTER 30: Anne

"_Who can be in doubt of what followed? When any two young people take it in to their heads to marry ..." Jane Austen, Persuasion._

I begin pacing around the small room attached to the conference suite, where about fifty reporters are waiting to pummel me with questions about the rumours that have escalated over the past two days. A few people stop to watch me and then shuffle out of the room. Huh. Even my crew know when its best to stay away from me. My legs are aching. I've been back on tour ten days and despite the strict exercise programme my brother in law has me on, I'm struggling, I feel tired all the time, I'm irritable. A movement catches the corner of my eye, I stop to look - Freddie. He's sat leg crossed ankle over knee, his foot twitching repeatedly and his hands laced behind his neck watching me intensely. There's something going on here I can feel it.

We've been back together two weeks now, and its has been wonderful. We managed to slip back into our relationship like we never parted but yet with more maturity and knowledge of our prior mistakes to have our eyes wide open. I know this man inside out, and something's up. A knock on the door interrupts my thoughts. Viv puts her heads around the door,

"two minutes Anne." She then retreats back through it.

Freddie is on his feet holding out his hand for mine. I stand and stare at it.

"I can't do this." My heart's pounding like an alien about to burst through my chest!

"Of course you can, its just like it was before, you did that okay didn't you?"

He talking about the Richard Press Conference when I announced to the world that I was not engaged and was not even in a relationship with Richard Elliot. When asked if I was romantically involved with anyone at the moment, I had looked at Freddie hiding at the back with Viv and not being able to help the smile on my face, answered all their questions without saying a word.

In the end we didn't have to _tell_ as many people as we thought, most guessed. Harry knew, James said he had an inkling, Harriet was over the moon. Charlie was pleased I'd finally found someone who made me happy, where he couldn't. I didn't want to have to tell him that it was Freddie preventing me from saying yes to him all those years ago, but when Mary wouldn't believe Freddie could have left Louisa for me after just a few months of knowing each other, it all came out.

Freddie wanted everyone to know he had loved no one but me for all this time and how everything he had done was for us. My heart swelled at that. My dad and miss Russell were another matter. I told Viv myself and to be honest she did seem happy for me. Dad and Lizzie not so much, although I didn't really care. Louisa seemed slightly put out, but as she claimed to be in love with James, whether she was really or not, she couldn't be seen to be jealous so that was the end of that.

"Yes, but before, I was still in a love induced high and didn't care what I was saying, or who I was saying it to. This, this is different. I want the whole world to know what I feel and who I feel it for."

I put my arms around Freddie's neck as I say it, but he tenses and removes my arms,

"then go out there and tell them."

It was the truth. I wasn't nervous about going out there and telling people. I was terrified of the back lash of the people who would be against us. Terrified of the people who would think I wasn't good enough for him. Truth be told I knew I wasn't good enough for him. I was just waiting for someone to point it out to him.

We wouldn't have bothered with all this but there was an incident yesterday that had brought all this forward. Richard had turned up at one of the venues drunk making a show of himself wanting to see me and planned on a televised reconciliation. He had actually brought the cameras with him! Normally I would have just let security take care of it. But no, last night I had been near home so Freddie had come too and happened to be there when Richard was. To cut a long story short. Richard ended up with a black eye and Fred's picture was in all the papers this morning. So it has been decided by the powers that be that I should be open about our relationship and how Fred was just protecting me. I look up at him, was that what this was about, last night?

"I know," I'm still not moving, what's wrong with him? "You're not helping, why do you look so nervous? You're not going out there, or are you scared you're going to get it from a mob of my crazy die hard fans?" I laugh nervously.

"I'm nervous because I'm not sure how you'll react to something I need to tell you."

He looks worried. Please tell me he's not having second thoughts about us, not now!

"Oh my God! Tell me you're not breaking up with me, here, now just before I walk into a press conference and confirm the rumours I'm in a relationship with my sexy song writer?"

"So you think I'm sexy?" He grins for a second but his face falls serious again, "no its nothing like that."

I'm confused now, "you're not making any sense."

He takes a deep breath in, and lets it out.

"I went to see your dad yesterday" he's staring at me waiting for a reaction.

"My dad? Why?"

"Because I needed to ask him something, well no, not ask. I don't _need_ his permission, more his blessing, not even that, because I would do this without it, it's more about righting wrongs, because not even wild horses, could prevent me from doing this."

"Freddie!" I interrupt his ramblings, "you're not making any sense".

"I have something that might stop you from getting stage fright. Ever again."

"And my father had it? I'm really confused."

Now he's laughing nervously, taking my hand in his. He opens his mouth but just before he speaks Viv puts her head around the door once again.

"Viv! Can you just give me one more damn minute!" Fred shouts.

Viv and I are both startled by his outburst, this is so un like Freddie, just like him hitting Richard last night. He obviously had something on his mind, why won't he confide in me. When we reconciled, we had made a big point of always telling each other everything from now on. No more secrets. So why was he hiding what ever this was?

"Please?" he adds softly.

Viv looks at him disgusted, but nods and leaves.

"Freddie you're staring to scare me, what the hell is going on?"

"Look I'm not getting on one knee, because my past experience with that tradition didn't end too well, but I am giving you this," he opens a black velvet box and inside is a ring. The ring from eight years ago. My ring! Its small and delicate and perfect, I look at him wondering if this is real, "and asking you this, Annie, will you be my wife? I know we've only just got back together and its quick, but I love you, and I want nothing more than to marry you and to make you happy, for the rest of my life."

I'm crying, shaking, nodding, even jumping up and down on the spot while I look at the ring,

"is that a ..." _he's actually asking if I'm saying yes_.

"YESSSS! Of course its a yes!" I interrupt. He grabs me, kissing me hard, lifting my feet off the ground! "But, how will this stop me ever getting stage fright again?"

"Look inside the ring."

I take it off and written inside the band are the tiny words,

'My Somebody, My Everything.'

My eyes are blurring, he moves closer and whispers,

"I know you have your tattoo, that's something you did so _you_ knew, this, this is from me to you, because this is how _I_ feel, what _I_ believe. I love you Annie Elliot. You're all that matters me. I need you in my life, you are my life. Please let me prove it?"


	31. Chapter 31

Epilogue

Richard Elliot slams down the newspaper onto the table, the headline exploding like an expletive from the page:-

"_Superstar Singer, Anne Elliot marries child hood sweetheart and long time love, Grammy winning Song Writer, Fred Wentworth, in private ceremony."_

The news of his 'would be girlfriend' Anne's engagement hit Richard unexpectedly, he had suspected something was between Wentworth and her. The way Wentworth always scowled at him when he was with her, suggested something more than work colleagues. But this. This was _his_ plan, _his_ chance to be happy in domestic bliss. He could have actually been happy with Anne. It wouldn't have been a private ceremony either, but a lavish event attended by the worlds rich and famous. The photos adorning the covers of glossy magazines. The money, the recognition, it could have all been his, should have all been his, now he had to turn and flee with his tail between his legs, and come up with something new. It had crossed his mind to stay around, try and force them apart, but he wouldn't. Deep down he knew why, he had liked Anne. More than he'd liked anyone else. More than he should. She never did anything but treat him well. No, he would let her have this. She was happy and that's how she should stay.

But that Lizzie ...

Somewhere in a city, in an arena full of screaming fans, Anne Wentworth completes her encore, bows and walks off stage into the waiting arms of her husband. He steps back, allowing her growing baby bump to fit snug in between them, he had everything he'd ever wanted. He had her, and she had him. No one to persuade them otherwise.

The End

PLAYLIST

One And Only - Adele

I Told You So - Carrie Underwood

I Know How He Feels - Reba McEntire

Almost Is Never Enough - Ariana Grande

White Flag - Dido

I Know You're Gonna Be There - Luke Bryan

Dear Darlin' - Olly Murs

All We'd Ever Need - Lady Antebellum

Every Breath You Take - The Police

Over You - Reba McEntire

Back To December - Taylor Swift

Please Stay - Westlife

I Almost Do - Taylor Swift

This Is Me You're Talking To - Trisha Yearwood


End file.
